Humorous stories; Love stories; Villages -- Fiction
"Kipper, indeed," thought the old lady; "that is the last peg. A
caterer's tid-bit for a hard-working man. If she would have her fish
cooked properly in her own house, she could give him six times as much
for half the money. And positively," she continued, in inward speech, as
the maid presented the bread and butter, "Kipper's biscuit! I suppose she
is going to let him provide her with everything, just as he does for
those rich people on Maple Avenue."
The fish was very good, and Miss Panney ate every morsel of it, but made
no remark concerning it. Instead of speaking of food, she talked of the
doings of the Methodist congregation in Thorbury, who were planning to
build a new church, far more expensive than she believed they could
afford. She was engaged in berating Mr. Hampton, the minister, who, she
declared, was actually encouraging his flock in their proposed
extravagance, when the maid gave her a clean plate, and handed her a dish
of sweetbread, tastefully garnished with clover blossoms and leaves. Miss
Panney stopped talking, gazed at the dish for a minute, and then helped
herself to a goodly portion of its contents.
"Feathers," she said to herself; "no more than froth and feathers to a
man who has been working hard half a day, and as to the extravagance of
such flimsy victuals--" She could keep quiet no longer, she was obliged
to speak out, and she burst into a tirade against people who called
themselves pious, and yet, wilfully shutting their eyes, were about to
plunge into wicked wastefulness. She ate as she talked, however, and she
had brought up John Wesley, and was about to give her notion of what he
would have had to say about a fancy church for a Thorbury congregation,
when the plates were again changed, and a dainty dish of sirloin steak,
with mushrooms, and thin slices of delicately browned potatoes, was put
before her.
"Well!" inwardly ejaculated the old lady, "something substantial at last.
But what money this meal must have cost!"
As she cut into the thick, juicy piece of steak, which had been broiled
until it was cooked enough, and not a minute more, Miss Panney's mind
dropped from the consideration of congregational finances into that of
domestic calculation. She knew Kipper's charges; she knew everybody's
charges.
"That dish of fish," she said to herself, "was not less than sixty cents;
the sweetbreads cost a dollar, if they cost a cent; this sirloin, with
mushrooms, was seventy-five cents; that, with the French biscuit, is two
dollars and a half for a family lunch for two people."
Miss Panney did not let her steak get cold, for she could talk and eat at
the same time, and the founder of Methodism never delivered so scorching
a tirade against pomp and show in professors of religion as she gave
forth in his name.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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