The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
The valet advanced towards him with the air of an affable executioner
stepping daintily to the block.
“Mr. Marlowe, sir?” he inquired politely.
Sam was startled. He could making nothing of this.
“Eh? What?”
“Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. S. Marlowe?”
“Yes, that’s my name.”
“Mine is Webster, sir. I am Mr. Bennett’s personal gentleman’s
gentleman. Miss Bennett entrusted me with this note to deliver to you,
sir.”
Sam began to grasp the position. For some reason or other, the dear
girl had been prevented from coming this afternoon, and she had written
to explain and relieve his anxiety. It was like her. It was just the
sweet, thoughtful thing he would have expected her to do. His
contentment with the existing scheme of things returned. The sun shone
out again, and he found himself amiably disposed towards the messenger.
“Fine day,” he said, as he took the note.
“Extremely, sir,” said Webster, outwardly unemotional, inwardly full of
a grave pity.
It was plain to him that there had been no previous little rift to
prepare the young man for the cervical operation which awaited him, and
he edged a little nearer, in order to be handy to catch Sam if the
shock knocked him off the gate.
As it happened, it did not. Having read the opening words of the note,
Sam rocked violently; but his feet were twined about the lower bars and
this saved him from overbalancing. Webster stepped back, relieved.
The note fluttered to the ground. Webster, picking it up and handing it
back, was enabled to get a glimpse of the first two sentences. They
confirmed his suspicions. The note was hot stuff. Assuming that it
continued as it began, it was about the warmest thing of its kind that
pen had ever written. Webster had received one or two heated epistles
from the sex in his time—your man of gallantry can hardly hope to
escape these unpleasantnesses—but none had got off the mark quite so
swiftly, and with quite so much frigid violence as this.
“Thanks,” said Sam mechanically.
“Not at all, sir. You are very welcome.”
Sam resumed his reading. A cold perspiration broke out on his forehead.
His toes curled, and something seemed to be crawling down the small of
his back. His heart had moved from its proper place and was now beating
in his throat. He swallowed once or twice to remove the obstruction,
but without success. A kind of pall had descended on the landscape,
blotting out the sun.
Of all the rotten sensations in this world, the worst is the
realisation that a thousand-to-one chance has come off, and caused our
wrong-doing to be detected. There had seemed no possibility of that
little ruse of his being discovered, and yet here was Billie in full
possession of the facts. It almost made the thing worse that she did
not say how she had come into possession of them. This gave Sam that
feeling of self-pity, that sense of having been ill-used by Fate, which
makes the bringing home of crime so particularly poignant.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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