The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
If there is one thing more than another which weighs upon the mind of a
story-teller as he chronicles the events which he has set out to
describe, it is the thought that the reader may be growing impatient
with him for straying from the main channel of his tale and devoting
himself to what are, after all, minor developments. This story, for
instance, opened with Mrs. Horace Hignett, the world-famous writer on
Theosophy, going over to America to begin a lecturing-tour; and no one
realises more keenly than I do that I have left Mrs. Hignett flat. I
have thrust that great thinker into the background and concentrated my
attention on the affairs of one who is both her mental and her moral
inferior, Samuel Marlowe. I seem at this point to see the reader—a
great brute of a fellow with beetling eyebrows and a jaw like the ram
of a battleship, the sort of fellow who is full of determination and
will stand no nonsense—rising to remark that he doesn’t care what
happened to Samuel Marlowe and that what he wants to know is, how Mrs.
Hignett made out on her lecturing-tour. Did she go big in Buffalo? Did
she have ’em tearing up the seats in Schenectady? Was she a riot in
Chicago and a cyclone in St. Louis? Those are the points on which he
desires information, or give him his money back.
I cannot supply the information. And, before you condemn me, let me
hastily add that the fault is not mine but that of Mrs. Hignett
herself. The fact is, she never went to Buffalo. Schenectady saw
nothing of her. She did not get within a thousand miles of Chicago, nor
did she penetrate to St. Louis. For the very morning after her son
Eustace sailed for England in the liner “Atlantic,” she happened to
read in the paper one of those abridged passenger-lists which the
journals of New York are in the habit of printing, and got a nasty
shock when she saw that, among those whose society Eustace would enjoy
during the voyage, was “Miss Wilhelmina Bennett, daughter of J. Rufus
Bennett of Bennett, Mandelbaum and Co.”. And within five minutes of
digesting this information, she was at her desk writing out telegrams
cancelling all her engagements. Iron-souled as this woman was, her
fingers trembled as she wrote. She had a vision of Eustace and the
daughter of J. Rufus Bennett strolling together on moonlit decks,
leaning over rails damp with sea-spray and, in short, generally
starting the whole trouble all over again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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