The village shop generally supplies the inhabitants with bread; probably they will kill a pig on Thursday or Friday, and supply the usual dish of pork for Sunday’s dinner. They also will usually be found to deal in cheap crockery, needles and cotton, sweetstuff, candles, pickles, etc. The only means of communication with the neighbouring town is, as I have said, the carrier’s cart, which generally takes a few passengers. I have lately lived in a little village myself, and have travelled by the same hooded conveyance backwards and forwards, never without thinking of the lazy horse associated with David Copperfield; and, indeed, at times I have felt inclined to chalk up in the corner, “Barkis is willin’.” The carrier usually takes his orders the night before, starts at an early hour in the morning, and returns in time to supply the dinner-table. Let us suppose that he has brought with him a shoulder of mutton, and that, instead of dining late, as is our wont, we, on this particular day, dine early. Shortly before our usual dinner hour, we are suddenly alarmed by the astounding news, “Oh, mamma, Mr. Smith has arrived; what are we to do?” Hospitality is a duty, and were I cynically inclined, I would imagine Mr. Smith to be a rich old bachelor uncle, very fond of good living, from whom we had great expectations; but I would rather put this supposititious case. Suppose Mr. Smith to be an old friend of our father who has seen better days, in which he showed us many little acts of kindness. Under these circumstances he is, of all men in the world, the very last one to whom we should like to give the “cold shoulder.” What is to be done? We will suppose that our housekeeper, or whoever acts as such, has, in anticipation of such contingencies, laid in a little stock of tinned goods, which are safely put by in the store closet. Having welcomed our guest, and whispered a few words to the cook and those willing to assist her, we will calmly sit down to our table, take a sheet of paper, and commence as follows:— MENU. Ox Tail Soup. Salmon Mayonnaise. Hashed Mutton and Pickled Walnuts. Curried Rabbit. Asparagus. Plum Pudding. Brandy Sauce. Jelly in glasses. Pine Apple (whole in syrup).