The Girl's Own Paper, Vol. XX. No. 1004, March 25, 1899Various
General
The Girl's Own Paper, Vol. XX. No. 1004, March 25, 1899
Various
Children's literature -- Periodicals
Miss Colbourne was not given to sentiment; she was a woman who had
faced the world and earned her own living for thirty years, and was
not quickly moved by any sudden impulse of compassion. Neither was she
one to grasp at her own advantage. Had it been merely her own pleasure
she was asked to sacrifice, she would have done it willingly. It was
characteristic that this aspect of the question did not trouble her. In
her heart she knew well that this was her last opportunity of realising
her dreams: never again would she possess the necessary funds; youth
had gone, health and strength were both on the wane. To give up now
meant to give up for life. She realised this, but it did not move her;
it hurt her, but it did not shake her purpose. It was not her own
pleasure that she hesitated to relinquish; it was rather a question
of her duty to herself. Miss Colbourne took life very seriously, and
lived up to a delicately poised standard of right and wrong. She had
a few months before refused an invitation to a performance of the
_Agamemnon_, because she did not consider her knowledge of Greek
equal to its perfect comprehension, and she would not pose as a Greek
scholar. The pleasure the spectacle would have given her was not
allowed to influence her decision. In the same way now she hesitated
whether she ought to give up this opportunity of widening and enriching
her mind, cramped by narrow horizons at home. The months she dreamed of
spending abroad would not only increase her mental stores, but send her
back with enlarged and quickening powers to her pupils. “Where,” she
debated, “does one’s duty to one’s higher nature leave off and that to
one’s neighbour begin? Shall I not be a more useful member of society
if I go abroad, and ought I not to consider my work first?”
In her pacings she picked up one of the views that had dropped from
the portfolio and carried it back to its place. It was a quaint
representation of the bonfire of vanities. She handled her treasures
tenderly, and with her handkerchief wiped an imaginary speck of dust
from Savonarola’s medallion. As she did so she wondered whether the
great ascetic would have thought this dream of hers a “vanity” too.
Very lightly did culture weigh in his mind.
This was a new thought; she was called to another kind of self-denial
than that of food and clothing. Might not the culture of the mind be
dearly bought at the expense of another’s life? Myra Bateson’s life,
too, involved the happiness of the little ones gathered about her
knees. The problem grew complex; contrasted with the well-being of this
family group Miss Colbourne felt the insignificance of her own needs.
“I don’t want to believe it,” she said at last, with a half-smile, “but
after all the Mother is more important than the Teacher.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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