“One of those statisticians who find out what others cannot find out asserts that girls with _retroussé_ noses marry sooner than young ladies with Greek and Roman noses.” [Illustration: A NEW READING. The retrousseau nose] That is a remarkable assertion, not the least remarkable thing about it being the phrasing of it—“_girls_ with _retroussé_ noses,” “_young ladies_ with Greek and Roman noses.” Welladay! If it be conceded, as I think it must be, that classical outline is an essential part of beauty, “young ladies” with Greek and Roman noses are not without one feature essentially beautiful. In the case of those with Greek noses, there are commonly other features satisfying the severest exactions in regard to beauty. This fact notwithstanding, the faces in question may be so far from pleasing to those who look, as the poet did, for something than beauty dearer, as to bring upon themselves the censure contained in certain words by Shakespeare— “This is a strange repose, to be asleep With eyes wide open; standing, speaking, moving, And yet so fast asleep.” Beautiful faces too often lack animation. As a natural consequence, beautiful faces lack another thing. A young face to be pleasing must hold out a promise, just as an older face to be pleasing must tell a story. Now there are more unbeautiful young faces that hold out a promise than there are beautiful young faces that do this, just as there are more unbeautiful older faces that tell a story than there are beautiful older faces that do this. In like manner, the regularity of line that is a main part of beauty is often attended by defects in another direction, calculated to arouse comment such as the following, being a speech made in reference to a woman of great beauty— “Her profile is delicious, but her full face is an empty face.” The woman in question lacked somewhat in intellectuality. A beautiful woman—so fairly on the whole are gifts distributed—is rarely a clever woman, and a beautiful girl is often a goose. Thus it was a beautiful girl of not ten but twenty years of age, who put to paper this account of Spain— “That is where the Inquisition was, and there are bull-fights there, and the ladies wear black on their heads, and _Westward Ho!_ was there.” It was a beautiful girl who asked lately— “Has a cow horns?” To which the counter-query put by an unbeautiful girl was— “Did you ever hear of the nursery rhyme of ‘the cow with the crumpled horn’?” [Illustration] It was a beautiful girl who wrote of a sailor as unfurling the anchor, who spoke of the dress of a Chinese mandoline, who answered the question put by a Frenchwoman, “What is the English for _raison d’être_?” in the words, “_Raison d’être_ is English,” and who formed one in a dialogue which took the following turn— _He:_ “What are dead languages.” _She:_ “The languages which were spoken by the dead Romans and Greeks.” _He:_ “But how could the dead Romans and Greeks speak?” _She:_ “Silly!”