GOV. Oh, Flibbie, how _can_ you be so irritating? I must insist upon knowing what an Island is. FLIB. Don’t you know? As you are a Governess, you ought to know. GOV. Of course I know, but I want you to tell me what an Island is, so that _I_ may know that _you_ know. FLIB. An Island is a piece of land surrounded by water. GOV. Quite right! Why didn’t you say that at first? FLIB. Didn’t I? GOV. Flibbie, you know you didn’t. What is Sheffield celebrated for? FLIB. For the crocodiles that infest its shores. GOV. Flibbie, your behaviour is shameful. FLIB. Oh, I beg your pardon, Governess, that’s the answer to “What is the Nile celebrated for?” Sheffield is celebrated for its cutlets. GOV. For its cutlets? FLIB. I beg your pardon, Governess, I meant cutlery. GOV. And now for Grammar. What is Grammar? FLIB. A nuisance. GOV. I don’t want your opinion of Grammar, Flibbie, I want your definition of it. FLIB. Please, Governess, I cannot give _my_ definition of it, but I can give Webster’s. GOV. Very well, Flibbie. FLIB. Grammar is “the science of language; the theory of human speech; the study of forms of speech, and their relations to one another.” GOV. Very good indeed, Flibbie. Now, what is a Conjunction? FLIB. It is a place where different lines of railways meet. There’s one at Clapham. GOV. No, Flibbie, you are thinking of a Junction. What is a Conjunction? FLIB. Oh, I beg your pardon! A Conjunction is “a connective or connecting word; an indeclinable word which serves to unite sentences, clauses of a sentence, or words.” Also Webster. And, please, Governess, there is a little point of grammar that has always puzzled me. Will you kindly explain it? GOV. Certainly, Flibbie. What is it? FLIB. Is it correct to say “Four and seven _is_ twelve,” or, “Four and seven _are_ twelve”? GOV. Why, of course, Flibbie, it is correct to say “Four and seven _are_ twelve.” FLIB. (_laughing_). Please, Governess, I’m sure it isn’t, for four and seven are eleven. I caught you there! GOV. Was there ever such an imp! Now for Spelling. No. 2. SPELLING DUET. (GOVERNESS AND FLIBBIE.) [Music] GOVERNESS. 1. How do you spell Cat? FLIBBIE. Please, Go - ver - ness, did you say Rat? GOVERNESS. No, I said Cat. FLIBBIE. I beg your par - don! I thought you said Rat. GOVERNESS. No, I said Cat! FLIBBIE. I thought you said Rat. GOVERNESS. Spell Cat! FLIBBIE. I can ea - si - ly do that. K A T, Kat. GOVERNESS. You are so wil - ful and per - verse, It’s real - ly ve - ry sad; Each day you’re get - ting worse and worse, And soon you’ll drive me mad!