CORRESPONDENT (writes). A touching dramatic moment.--A minister has arrived.--All are trembling on the verge of suspense. Many are shedding tears-- PASTOR. Excuse me, excuse me! Ladies and gentlemen, a lost soul wishes to make its peace with God-- (He shouts.) My son, don't you wish to make your peace with God? Confess your sins to me. I will grant you remission at once! What? I cannot hear? CORRESPONDENT (writes). The air is shaken with the people's groans. The minister of the church exhorts the criminal, that is, the unfortunate man, in touching language.--The unfortunate creature with tears in his eyes thanks him in a faint voice-- UNKNOWN MAN (faintly). If you won't go away I will jump on your head. I weigh three hundred pounds. (All jump away frightened behind each other.) VOICES. He is falling! He is falling! TOURIST (agitatingly). Mary, Aleck, Jimmie. POLICEMAN (energetically). Clear the place, please! Move on! LADY. Nellie, go quick and tell your father he is falling. PHOTOGRAPHER (in despair). Oh my, I am out of films (tosses madly about, looking pitifully at the unknown man). One minute, I'll go and get them. I have some in my overcoat pocket over there. (He walks a short distance, keeping his eyes fixed on the unknown man, and then returns.) I can't, I am afraid I'll miss it. Good heavens! They are over there in my overcoat. Just one minute, please. I'll fetch them right away. What a fix. PASTOR. Hurry, my friend. Pull yourself together and try to hold out long enough to tell me at least your principal sins. You needn't mention the lesser ones. TOURIST. What a tragedy? CORRESPONDENT (writes). The criminal, that is, the unhappy man, makes a public confession and does penance. Terrible secrets revealed. He is a bank robber--blew up safes. TOURIST (credulously). The scoundrel. PASTOR (shouts). In the first place, have you killed? Secondly, have you stolen? Thirdly, have you committed adultery? TOURIST. Mary, Jimmie, Katie, Aleck, Charlie, close your ears. CORRESPONDENT (writing). Tremendous excitement in the crowd.--Shouts of indignation. PASTOR (hurriedly). Fourthly, have you blasphemed? Fifthly, have you coveted your neighbor's ass, his ox, his slave, his wife? Sixthly-- PHOTOGRAPHER (alarmed). Ladies and gentlemen, an ass! SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. Where? I can't see it! PHOTOGRAPHER (calmed). I thought I heard it. PASTOR. I congratulate you, my son! I congratulate you! You have made your peace with God. Now you may rest easy--Oh, God, what do I see? The Salvation Army! Policeman, chase them away! (Enter a Salvation Army band, men and women in uniforms. There are only three instruments, a drum, a violin and a piercingly shrill trumpet.) SALVATION ARMY MAN (frantically beating his drum and shouting in a nasal voice). Brethren and sisters--