MILITARY WOMAN. Your husband is a brute. POLICEMAN. Whose coat is this? Who threw this rag here? BOY. It's mine. I spread my coat there so that he doesn't hurt himself so badly when he falls. POLICEMAN. Take it away. (Two tourists armed with cameras contending for the same position.) FIRST TOURIST. I wanted this place. SECOND TOURIST. You wanted it, but I got it. FIRST TOURIST. You just came here. I have had this place for two days. SECOND TOURIST. Then why did you go without even leaving your shadow? FIRST TOURIST. I wasn't going to starve myself to death. COMB-VENDER (mysteriously). Tortoise-shell. TOURIST (savagely). Well? VENDER. Genuine tortoise-shell. TOURIST. Go to the devil. THIRD TOURIST, PHOTOGRAPHER. For heaven's sake, lady, you're sitting on my camera! LITTLE LADY. Oh! Where is it? TOURIST. Under you, under you, lady. LITTLE LADY. I am so tired. What a wretched camera you have. I thought it felt uncomfortable and I was wondering why. Now I know; I am sitting on your camera. TOURIST (agonized). Lady! LITTLE LADY. I thought it was a stone. I saw something lying there and I thought: A queer-looking stone; I wonder why it's so black. So that's what it was; it was your camera. I see. TOURIST (agonized). Lady, for heaven's sake! LITTLE LADY. Why is it so large, tell me. Cameras are small, but this one is so large. I swear I never had the faintest suspicion it was a camera. Can you take my picture? I would so much like to have my picture taken with the mountains here for a background, in this wonderful setting. TOURIST. How can I take your picture if you are sitting on my camera? LITTLE LADY (jumping up, frightened). Is it possible? You don't say so. Why didn't you tell me so? Does it take pictures? VOICES. Waiter, one beer!--What did you bring wine for?--I gave you my order long ago.--What will you have, sir?--One minute.--In a second. Waiter!--Waiter--Toothpicks!-- (A fat tourist enters in haste, panting, surrounded by a numerous family.) TOURIST (crying). Mary! Aleck! Jimmie!--Where is Mary? For God's sake! Where is Mary? STUDENT (dismally). Here she is, papa. TOURIST. Where is she? Mary! GIRL. Here I am, papa. TOURIST. Where in the world are you? (He turns around.) Ah, there! What are you standing back of me for? Look, look! For goodness sake, where are you looking? GIRL (dismally). I don't know, papa. TOURIST. No, that's impossible. Imagine! She never once saw a lightning flash. She always keeps her eyes open as wide as onions, but the instant it flashes she closes them. So she never saw lightning, not once. Mary, you are missing it again. There it is! You see! STUDENT. She sees, papa. TOURIST. Keep an eye on her. (Suddenly dropping into tone of profound pity.) Ah, poor young man. Imagine! He'll fall from that high rock. Look, children, see how pale he is! That should be a lesson to you how dangerous climbing is. STUDENT (dismally). He won't fall to-day, papa!