Americans -- Europe -- Fiction; Europe -- Fiction; Love stories; Marriage -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction; Socialites -- Fiction
She remained silent, and Strefford, after a moment, drew her gently down
to the seat beside him. “Susy, upon my soul I don’t know what you’re
driving at. Is it me you’re angry with--or yourself? And what’s it all
about! Are you disgusted because I let the villa to a couple who weren’t
married! But, hang it, they’re the kind that pay the highest price and
I had to earn my living somehow! One doesn’t run across a bridal pair
every day....”
She lifted her eyes to his puzzled incredulous face. Poor Streff! No,
it was not with him that she was angry. Why should she be? Even that
ill-advised disclosure had told her nothing she had not already known
about him. It had simply revealed to her once more the real point of
view of the people he and she lived among had shown her that, in spite
of the superficial difference, he felt as they felt, judged as they
judged, was blind as they were--and as she would be expected to be,
should she once again become one of them. What was the use of being
placed by fortune above such shifts and compromises, if in one’s heart
one still condoned them? And she would have to--she would catch the
general note, grow blunted as those other people were blunted, and
gradually come to wonder at her own revolt, as Strefford now honestly
wondered at it. She felt as though she were on the point of losing some
new-found treasure, a treasure precious only to herself, but beside
which all he offered her was nothing, the triumph of her wounded pride
nothing, the security of her future nothing.
“What is it, Susy?” he asked, with the same puzzled gentleness.
Ah, the loneliness of never being able to make him understand! She had
felt lonely enough when the flaming sword of Nick’s indignation had shut
her out from their Paradise; but there had been a cruel bliss in the
pain. Nick had not opened her eyes to new truths, but had waked in her
again something which had lain unconscious under years of accumulated
indifference. And that re-awakened sense had never left her since,
and had somehow kept her from utter loneliness because it was a secret
shared with Nick, a gift she owed to Nick, and which, in leaving her, he
could not take from her. It was almost, she suddenly felt, as if he had
left her with a child.
“My dear girl,” Strefford said, with a resigned glance at his watch,
“you know we’re dining at the Embassy....”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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