THE GODS AND MR. PERRIN A Tragi-Comedy By Hugh Walpole Author Of “Fortitude,” “The Prelude To Adventure,” Etc. New York George H. Doran Company 1911 “The Way Here Also Was Very Wearisome Through Dirt And Shabbiness: Nor Was There On All This Ground So Much As One Inn Or Victualling-House Wherein To Refresh The Feebler Sort.”—Pilgrim's Progress TO PUNCH My Dear Punch, There are a thousand and one reasons why I should dedicate this book to you. It would take a very long time and much good paper to give you them all; but here, at any rate, is one of them. Do you remember a summer day last year that we spent together? The place was a little French town, and we climbed its high, crooked street, and had tea in an inn at the top—an inn with a square courtyard, bad, impossible tea, and a large black cat. It was on that afternoon that I introduced you for a little time to Mr. Perrin, and you, because you have more understanding and sympathy than anyone I have ever met, understood him and sympathized. For the good things that you have done for me I can never repay you, but for the good things that you did on that afternoon for Mr. Perrin I give you this book. Yours affectionately, HUGH WALPOLE. Chelsea, January 1911. CONTENTS THE GODS AND MR. PERRIN CHAPTER I—MR. VINCENT PERRIN DRINKS HIS TEA AND GIVES MR. TRAILL SOUND ADVICE CHAPTER II—INTRODUCES A CONFUSING COMPANY OF PERSONS, WITH SPECIAL EMPHASIS ON MRS. COMBER CHAPTER III—CONCERNS ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS THAT MAY HAPPEN BETWEEN SOUP AND DESSERT CHAPTER IV—BIRKLAND LOQUITUR CHAPTER V—A GAME OF FOOTBALL AND A DANCE IN PENDRAGON HAVE THEIR PART IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS CHAPTER VI—SÆVA INDIGNATIO CHAPTER VII—THE BATTLE OP THE UMBRELLA; THEY OPEN FIRE CHAPTER VIII—THE BATTLE OP THE UMBRELLA; CAMPS ARE FORMED—ALSO SOME SKIRMISHING CHAPTER IX—THE BATTLE OP THE UMBRELLA; WITH THE LADIES CHAPTER X—THE BATTLE OF THE UMBRELLA; “WHOM THE GODS WISH TO DESTROY....” CHAPTER XI—MR. PERRIN SEES DOUBLE CHAPTER XII—MR. PERRIN WALKS IN SLEEP CHAPTER XIII—MR. PERRIN LISTENS WHILE THEY ALL MAKE SPEECHES CHAPTER XIV—MR. PERRIN REACHES THE HEART OF HIS KINGDOM CHAPTER XV—THE GOLDEN VIEW THE GODS AND MR. PERRIN CHAPTER I—MR. VINCENT PERRIN DRINKS HIS TEA AND GIVES MR. TRAILL SOUND ADVICE I.