Instantly Barbara was trembling with excitement. She knew that the
remark had been made to her and not at all to Miss Letts. Barbara
entered once again, and instantly, upon the field of the passions. Here
she was fated by her temperament to be in all cases a miserable victim,
because panic, whether she were accepted or rejected by the object of
her devotion, reduced her to incoherent foolishness; she could only be
foolish now, and, although her heart beat like a leaping animal inside
her, allowed Miss Letts to carry on the conversation.
But Miss Letts's wandering eye hurt Mary's pride. She was not really
interested in her, and once Mary had come to that conclusion about any
one, complete, utter oblivion enveloped them. She perceived, however,
Barbara's agitation, and at that, flattered and appeased, she was
amiable again. There followed between the two a strangled and
disconnected conversation.
Mary began:
"I've got four dolls at home."
"Have you?" breathlessly from Barbara. By such slow accuracies as these
are we conveyed, all our poor mortal days, from realism to romance, and
with a shocking precipitance are we afterwards flung back, out of
romance into realism, our natural home, again.
"Yes--four dolls I have. My mother will give me another if I ask her.
Would your mother?"
"Yes," said Barbara, untruthfully.
"That's my governess, Miss Marsh, there, with the green hat, that is.
I've had her two months."
"Yes," said Barbara, gazing with adoring eyes.
"She's going away next week. There's another coming. I can do sums, can
you?"
"Yes," again from Barbara.
"I can do up to twice-sixty-three. I'm nine. Miss Marsh says I'm
clever."
"I'm seven," said Barbara.
"I could read when I was seven--long, long words. Can you read?"
At this moment there arrived the green-hatted Miss Marsh, a plump,
optimistic person, to whom Miss Letts was gloomily patronising. Miss
Letts always distrusted stoutness in another; it looked like deliberate
insult. Mary Adams was conveyed away; Barbara was bereft of her glory.
But, rather, on that instant that Mary Adams vanished did she become
glorified. Barbara had been too absurdly agitated to transform on to the
mirror of her brain Mary's appearance. In all the dim-coloured splendour
of flame and mist was Mary now enwrapped, with every step that Barbara
took towards her home did the splendour grow.
III
Then followed an invitation to tea from Mary's mother. Barbara,
preparing for the event, suffered her hair to be brushed, choked with
strange half-sweet, half-terrible suffocation that comes from
anticipated glories: half-sweet because things will, at their worst, be
wonderful; half-terrible because we know that they will not be so good
as we hope.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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