The Goose-step: A Study of American Education — John Shaqi
The Goose-step: A Study of American EducationSinclair, Upton
History
The Goose-step: A Study of American Education
Sinclair, Upton
Education -- United States; Universities and colleges -- United States
Once upon a time there was a little boy; a little boy unusually eager,
and curious about the world he lived in. He was a nuisance to old
gentlemen who wanted to read their newspaper; but young men liked to
carry him on their shoulders and maul him about in romps, old ladies
liked to make ginger cakes for him, and other boys liked to play
“shinny” with him, and race on roller skates, and “hook” potatoes from
the corner grocery and roast them in forbidden fires on vacant lots. The
little boy lived in a crowded part of the city of New York, in what is
called a “flat”; that is, a group of little boxes, enclosed in a large
box called a “flat-house.” Every morning this little boy’s mother saw to
his scrubbing, with special attention to his ears, both inside and back,
and put a clean white collar on him, and packed his lunch-box with two
sandwiches and a piece of cake and an apple, and started him off to
school.
The school was a vast building—or so it seemed to the little boy. It had
stone staircases with iron railings, and big rooms with rows of little
desks, blackboards, maps of strange countries, and pictures of George
Washington and Abraham Lincoln and Aurora driving her chariot.
Everywhere you went in this school you formed in line and marched; you
talked in chorus, everybody saying the same thing as nearly at the same
instant as could be contrived. The little boy found that a delightful
arrangement, for he liked other boys, and the more of them there were,
the better. He kept step happily, and sat with glee in the assembly
room, and clapped when the others clapped, and laughed when they
laughed, and joined with them in shouting:
Oh, Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean,
The—ee home of the Bra—ave and the Free—ee!
The rest of the day the little boy sat in a crowded classroom, learning
things. The first thing he learned was that you must be quiet—otherwise
the teacher, passing down the aisle, would crack your knuckles with a
ruler. Another thing was that you must raise your hand if you wanted to
speak. Maybe these things were necessary, but the little boy did not
learn why they were necessary; in school all you learned was that things
were so. For example, if you wanted to divide one fraction by another,
you turned the second fraction upside down; it seemed an odd procedure,
but if you asked the reason for it, the teacher would be apt to answer
in a way that caused the other little boys to laugh at you—something
which is very painful.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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