The Gostak and the DoshesBreuer, Miles J. (Miles John)
Science
The Gostak and the Doshes
Breuer, Miles J. (Miles John)
Fourth dimension -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories
Public indignation waxed high. Derogatory remarks about “wops” were
flung about. Shouts of “Holy war!” were heard. I could feel the
tension in the atmosphere as I took my seat in the crowded church
in the evening. I had been assured that the message of the gostak
and the doshes would be thoroughly expounded so that even the most
simple-minded and uneducated people could understand it fully. Although
I had my hands full at the University, I was so puzzled and amazed
at the course that events were taking that I determined to give the
evening to finding out what the “slogan” meant.
There was a good deal of singing before the lecture began. Mimeographed
copies of the words were passed about, but I neglected to preserve
them, and do not remember them. I know there was one solemn hymn
that reverberated harmoniously through the great church, a chanting
repetition of “The Gostak Distims the Doshes.” There was another
stirring martial air, that began: “Oh the Gostak! Oh the Gostak!”--and
ended with a swift cadence on “the Gostak Distims the Doshes!” The
speaker had a rich, eloquent voice and a commanding figure. He stepped
out and bowed solemnly.
“The gostak distims the doshes,” he pronounced impressively. “Is it
not comforting to know that there is a gostak; do we not glow with
pride because the doshes are distimmed? In the entire universe there
is no more profoundly significant fact: the gostak distims the doshes.
Could anything be more complete, yet more tersely emphatic. The gostak
distims the doshes!” Applause. “This thrilling truth affects our
innermost lives. What would we do if the gostak did not distim the
doshes? Without the gostak, without doshes, what would we do? What
would we think? How would we feel?” Applause again.
At first I thought this was some kind of an introduction. I was
inexperienced in listening to popular speeches, lectures, and sermons.
I had spent most of my life in the study of physics and its accessory
sciences. I could not help trying to figure out the meaning of whatever
I heard. When I found none I began to get impatient. I waited some
more, thinking that soon he would begin on the real explanation. After
thirty minutes of the same sort of stuff as I have just quoted, I gave
up trying to listen. I just sat and hoped he would soon be through.
The people applauded and grew more excited. After an hour, I stirred
restlessly; I slouched down in my seat and sat up by turns. After two
hours I grew desperate; I got up and walked out. Most of the people
were too excited to notice me. Only a few of them cast hostile glances
at my retreat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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