Becos they were after me. I was a dead man if I stuck to it then. I threw it in ’ere to gain time and knowin’ the ’ouse. MISS PERKINS Well, I never! ALBERT They’re a desp’rate lot. MR PERKINS It’s all most unusual. Never since I’ve been an ’ouse’older ’ave I---- MISS PERKINS Oh, Albert! You might ’ave told me. ALBERT I ’ad my reasons. MRS PERKINS Y’re a detective, then? ALBERT I am that. So let’s ’ave it. I tell yer I must be off. MRS PERKINS (_Holding up the diamond, but away from him._) Look at it, Albert! ALBERT I see it. MRS PERKINS Can y’ be honest? Look at it! ALBERT She’s off ’er chump. MR PERKINS She doesn’t reelly mean it. I’ve borne a ’igh character all my life. MRS PERKINS (_Passionately._) It’s _my_ dimond. MISS PERKINS I’m ashamed of my ma. MR PERKINS My employers ’as always put the utmost confidence in me. ALBERT What’s she up to? Now ma’am, you’ll just ’and that over or---- MRS PERKINS Or? ALBERT (_He produces a whistle._) I wouldn’t ’andle yer myself. MRS PERKINS That’s it, is it? ALBERT That’s it. MRS PERKINS Then let it go the way it came. [_She throws it through the window._ MR PERKINS ’Old on. There’s another pane gone! ALBERT O ’ell! [_He rushes out._ MISS PERKINS You’ll ruin us, Ma. MRS PERKINS (_Dusting one hand against the other._) A good shuttance. MISS PERKINS (_At the window._) Oh! I hope he’ll find it. There he is, and a policeman’s with him. They’ve got it, I think. Yes. Albert, Albert! I wish he’d look up. They’re seeing if it’s damaged. There! He’s waved his hand. MRS PERKINS (_She has settled into her chair_.) Well, we’ve ’ad quite a busy evenin’. MISS PERKINS I don’t know what Albert’ll think of you. MRS PERKINS ’E’s not going to marry me, thank ’eaven. MR PERKINS D’ y’ want t’ know what _I_ think of yer? MRS PERKINS Go on! Y’ve no ’magernation. MISS PERKINS I never thought to be ashamed of my own mother. MR PERKINS Wantin’ in the very el’ments of morality. I wonder ’ow Sossiety ’d get on if they was all like you. MRS PERKINS Polly, put up that blind. It’s a bit chilly with them broken panes. MISS PERKINS Most unladylike as well. [_They settle down into their chairs again. Mrs Perkins takes up her darning and Mr Perkins the paper. After putting up the blind Miss Perkins returns to her puzzle._ MRS PERKINS ’Ow much did y’ say it was worth, Pa? MR PERKINS (_Gruffly._) Never mind. MRS PERKINS Well, I ’ad my bit o’ fun for onct. CURTAIN Transcriber’s Note This transcription is based on the 1924 edition published by Gowans & Gray in London and Glasgow. Scanned images of a copy made available by the Bodleian Library are posted by Google: https://books.google.com/books?id=B2MVAAAAQAAJ The following changes were made to the printed text: --The formatting of stage directions following lines—that is, those that begin with an opening square bracket—has been standardized.