The Grand Cham's Diamond: A Play in One Act — John Shaqi
The Grand Cham's Diamond: A Play in One ActMonkhouse, Allan
General
The Grand Cham's Diamond: A Play in One Act
Monkhouse, Allan
English drama -- 20th century; One-act plays
I’ve just told yer.
STRANGER
On your oath----
MRS PERKINS
Oath! D’ y’ doubt the word of a lady?
STRANGER
Then--d’ you feel it--I mean--whereabouts is it now?
MRS PERKINS
I don’t think that’s a question a gentleman ’d ask.
STRANGER
Kites of hell! You’ll have to be cut open.
MRS PERKINS
Nay, I won’t.
STRANGER
(_To himself._) Cremation? Would it melt the diamond?
MRS PERKINS
I won’t be cremated. There! Y’ ’ve to get the deceased’s consent. I’m
goin’ to be buried when my time comes.
STRANGER
(_Pacing about in agitation while Mrs Perkins controls the others by
nods and winks._) What’s to be done? An emetic?
MRS PERKINS
You’d better go ’ome an’ say it’s lost.
STRANGER
Unhappy woman! Do you understand that your life is a trifle, a pawn in
the game?
MRS PERKINS
Pawn! Yes, an’ y’ can’t get it out without the ticket.
STRANGER
It’s impossible. It can’t be. (_He turns on the others._) The
truth! Did she swallow it? If she did, she dies.
MISS PERKINS
Oh, no, no. She didn’t.
MRS PERKINS
You silly!
MISS PERKINS
Oh, Ma!
MR PERKINS
Ma, Ma, what can we do?
MRS PERKINS
Y can ’old y’r tongues. Y’re no ’elp at all.
STRANGER
What folly this is! What can you do with it? That diamond means death to
you. Death! Destruction! You haven’t a chance of keeping it. You’re mad.
Your lives now are not worth a minute’s purchase.
MISS PERKINS
Give it up, Ma. I’ll tell you where it is. It’s----
MRS PERKINS
(_In a terrible voice._) Stop!
MR PERKINS
What can you do, Ma? Chuck it! Chuck it!
MRS PERKINS
’E don’t bluff me. ’E’s in a great ’urry. I believe ’e’s the thief.
STRANGER
Thousand devils! We’re wasting time. (_He looks at the clock and then
plucks out his watch._) Your clock’s slow. It’s stopped. It was that
time when I came in.
MISS PERKINS
Tell him. Tell him.
MR PERKINS
Oh, chuck it!
STRANGER
(_Perceiving that he is getting “warm.”_) What stopped the
clock?
MISS PERKINS
(_Hysterically._) Give it ’im.
MRS PERKINS
Polly, I’m ashamed of yer.
[_A face appears at the window, but they do not see it._
STRANGER
Is it there?
[_He makes for the clock, and Mrs Perkins throws herself in front._
MRS PERKINS
No, it’s not; and y’ shan’t meddle with my furniture.
STRANGER
(_Pointing the revolver at her_.) Move aside!
MRS PERKINS
Move aside yerself.
STRANGER
(_He hesitates, then turns the revolver on Miss Perkins._) Is it
there? Quick!
[_Miss Perkins shrieks, a hand with a revolver in it is thrust through
the empty pane, the revolver is fired, the Stranger drops his, stamps,
curses, and wrings his hands. A man opens the window-sash and springs
into the room._
MISS PERKINS
Albert!
MRS PERKINS
What! It’s Albert.
[_The Stranger rushes to the switch and turns off the light. Darkness,
shouting, and confusion. The light is turned on. The furniture is
disarranged, the Stranger and the clock have gone, the others are
distributed about the room, Mrs Perkins sitting in the chair she first
occupied._
ALBERT
Who’s got it?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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