He felt miserable; from the crude standpoint of facts there was no
answer to give. He gave none.
'I suppose it is all about now?' she went on, seeing him silent.
'Pretty well,' he answered, understanding the question. Then, with an
indignant accent, he said, 'Mrs. Goldsmith tells everybody she found
it out, and sent you away.'
'I am glad she says that,' she remarked enigmatically. 'And,
naturally, everybody detests me?'
'Not everybody,' he began threateningly.
'Don't let us stand on the steps,' she interrupted. 'People will be
looking at us.' They moved slowly downwards, and into the hot,
bustling streets. 'Why are you not at the _Flag_? I thought this was
your busy day.' She did not add, 'And so I ventured to the Museum,
knowing there was no chance of your turning up'; but such was the
fact.
'I am not the editor any longer,' he replied.
'Not?' She almost came to a stop. 'So much for my critical faculty; I
could have sworn to your hand in every number.'
'Your critical faculty equals your creative,' he began.
'Journalism has taught you sarcasm.'
'No, no! please do not be so unkind. I spoke in earnestness. I have
only just been dismissed.'
'Dismissed!' she echoed incredulously. 'I thought the _Flag_ was your
own?'
He grew troubled. 'I bought it--but for another. We--he--has dispensed
with my services.'
'Oh, how shameful!'
The latent sympathy of her indignation cheered him again.
'I am not sorry,' he said. 'I'm afraid I really was outgrowing its
original platform.'
'What?' she asked, with a note of mockery in her voice. 'You have left
off being orthodox?'
'I don't say that. It seems to me, rather, that I have come to
understand I never was orthodox in the sense that the orthodox
understand the word. I had never come into contact with them before. I
never realised how unfair orthodox writers are to Judaism. But I do
not abate one word of what I have ever said or written, except, of
course, on questions of scholarship, which are always open to
revision.'
'But what is to become of me--of my conversion?' she said, with mock
piteousness.
'You need no conversion!' he answered passionately, abandoning without
a twinge all those criteria of Judaism for which he had fought with
Strelitski. 'You are a Jewess not only in blood, but in spirit. Deny
it as you may, you have all the Jewish ideals--they are implied in
your attack on our society.'
She shook her head obstinately.
'You read all that into me, as you read your modern thought into the
old naïve books.'
'I read what is in you. Your soul is in the right, whatever your brain
says.' He went on, almost to echo Strelitski's words, 'Selfishness is
the only real atheism; aspiration, unselfishness, the only real
religion. In the language of our Hillel, this is the text of the Law;
the rest is commentary. You and I are at one in believing that,
despite all and after all, the world turns on righteousness, on
justice'--his voice became a whisper--'on love.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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