The old thrill went through her, as when first they met. Once again
the universe seemed bathed in holy joy. But she shook off the spell
almost angrily. Her face was definitely set towards the life of the
New World. Why should he disturb her anew?
'Ah, well, I'm glad you allow me a little goodness,' she said
sarcastically. 'It is quite evident how you have drifted from
orthodoxy. Strange result of the _Flag of Judah_! Started to convert
me, it has ended by alienating you--its editor--from the true faith.
Oh, the irony of circumstances! But don't look so glum. It has
fulfilled its mission all the same: it _has_ converted me--I will
confess it to you.' Her face grew grave, her tones earnest. 'So I
haven't an atom of sympathy with your broader attitude. I am full of
longing for the old impossible Judaism.'
His face took on a look of anxious solicitude. He was uncertain
whether she spoke ironically or seriously. Only one thing was
certain--that she was slipping from him again. She seemed so complex,
paradoxical, elusive--and yet growing every moment more dear and
desirable.
'Where are you living?' he asked abruptly.
'It doesn't matter where,' she answered. 'I sail for America in three
weeks.'
The world seemed suddenly empty. It was hopeless, then--she was almost
in his grasp, yet he could not hold her. Some greater force was
sweeping her into strange alien solitudes. A storm of protest raged in
his heart--all he had meant to say to her rose to his lips, but he
only said, 'Must you go?'
'I must. My little sister marries. I have timed my visit so as to
arrive just for the wedding--like a fairy godmother.' She smiled
wistfully.
'Then you will live with your people, I suppose?'
'I suppose so. I dare say I shall become quite good again. Ah, your
new Judaisms will never appeal like the old, with all its
imperfections. They will never keep the race together through shine
and shade as that did. They do but stave off the inevitable
dissolution. It is beautiful--that old childlike faith in the pillar
of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night, that patient waiting
through the centuries for the Messiah who even to you, I dare say, is
a mere symbol.' Again the wistful look lit up her eyes. 'That's what
you rich people will never understand--it doesn't seem to go with
dinner in seven courses, somehow.'
'Oh, but I do understand,' he protested. 'It's what I told Strelitski,
who is all for intellect in religion. He is going to America, too,' he
said, with a sudden pang of jealous apprehension.
'On a holiday?'
'No; he is going to resign his ministry here.'
'What! Has he got a better offer from America?'
'Still so cruel to him,' he said reprovingly. 'He is resigning for
conscience' sake.'
'After all these years?' she queried sarcastically.
'Miss Ansell, you wrong him! He was not happy in his position. You
were right so far. But he cannot endure his shackles any longer. And
it is you who have inspired him to break them.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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