LOOK. Lady Leonard Alcar has consulted me about the matter. I may say that I have the honour to be her spiritual director. Probably you know that Lord Leonard Alcar owns the finest collection of Ilam Carve's pictures in Europe. JANET. I've often wondered who it is that settles whether people shall be buried in the Abbey or not. So it's Lady Leonard Alcar! LOOE. Not exactly! Not exactly! But Lady Leonard Alcar is a great lady. She has vast influence. The most influential convert to Catholicism of the last thirty years. She is aunt to no less than four dukes, and Lord Leonard is uncle to two others. CARVE. (Ironically.) I quite see. LOOE. (Eagerly.) You see--don't you? Her advice on these matters carries enormous weight. A suggestion from her amounts to--to-- CARVE. A decree absolute. JANET. (Simply.) Is she what they call the ruling classes? LOOE. (Bows.) Lady Leonard and I have talked the matter over, and I pointed out to her that if this great genius was a member of the Church of England and if the sorrowing nation at large deems him worthy of the supreme honour of a national funeral, then by all means let him be buried in the Abbey. But if he was a Catholic, then I claim him for Westminster Cathedral, that magnificent fane which we have raised as a symbol of our renewed vitality. Now, was he a member of the Church of England? CARVE. (Loudly.) Decidedly not. LOOE. Good! Then I claim him. I detest casuistry and I claim him. I have only one other question. You knew him well--intimately--for many years. On your conscience, Mr. Shawn, what interment in your opinion would he himself have preferred? JANET. (After a pause.) It wouldn't make much difference to him either way, would it? CARVE. (With an outburst.) The whole thing is preposterous. LOOE. (Ignoring the outburst.) My course seems quite clear. I shall advise Lady Leonard-- CARVE. Don't you think you're rather young to be in sole charge of this country? LOOE. (Smoothly.) My dear sir, I am nothing but a humble priest who gives counsel when counsel is sought. And I may say that in this affair of the interment of our great national painter, there are other influences than mine. For instance, my sister, Honoria, who happens also to be president of the Ladies' Water Colour Society--(gesture of alarm from CARVE)--my sister has a great responsibility. She is the favourite niece of--(Whispers in CARVE'S ear.) Consequently--(Makes an impressive pause.) HONORIA. You see my uncle is a bachelor and I keep house for him. Anselm used to live with us too, until he left the Church. LOOE. Until I joined the Church, Honoria. Now Honoria wishes to be perfectly fair; she entirely realizes her responsibility; and that is why she has come with me to see you. JANET. (Benignantly.) So that's how these things are decided! I see I'd got quite a wrong notion of politics and so on. HONORIA. Oh, Mr. Shawn-- } and } (Together.) JANET. My idea was-- }