CARVE. Don't you? Well, perhaps you don't go in for art much. If you did, you'd know that the usual and correct thing for a painter who has made a great success with a life-size picture of a policeman blowing his whistle, is to keep on doing life-size pictures of a policeman blowing his whistle for ever and ever, so that the public can always count on getting from him a life-size picture of a policeman blowing his whistle. PASCOE. I observe you are one of those comic valets. Nervousness again, no doubt. CARVE. (Smiling and continuing.) Seeing the way he invariably flouted the public, it's always been a mystery to me how he managed to make a name, to say nothing of money. PASCOE. Money! He must make pots. You say I don't go in for art much, but I always read the big sales at Christie's. Why, wasn't it that policeman picture that Lord Leonard Alcar bought for 2000 guineas last year? CARVE. No, not Alcar. I think the bobby was last bought by Texel. PASCOE. Texel? Who's Texel? CARVE. Collector--United States--one of their kings, I'm told. PASCOE. Oh, him! Controls all the ink in the United States. CARVE. Really! That's what I should call influence. No. It was the "Pelicans feeding their Young" that Alcar bought. Four thousand. You're getting mixed up. PASCOE. Perhaps I am. I know I'm constantly seeing Mr. Carve's name in connection with Lord Leonard Alcar's. It's a nice question which is the best known of the two. CARVE. Then the--governor really is famous in England? You see we never come to England. PASCOE. Famous--I should think he was. Aren't they always saying he's the finest colourist since Titian? And look at his prices! CARVE. Yes. I've looked at his prices. Titian's prices are higher, but Titian isn't what you'd call famous with the general public, is he? What I want to know is--is the governor famous among the general public? PASCOE. Yes. CARVE. About how famous should you say he is? PASCOE. (Hesitating.) Well--(abruptly) that's a silly question. CARVE. No, it isn't. Is he as famous as--er--Harry Lauder? PASCOE. (Shakes his head.) You mustn't go to extremes. CARVE. Is he as famous as Harry Vardon? PASCOE. Never heard of him. CARVE. I only see these names in the papers. Is he as famous as Bernard Shaw? PASCOE. Yes, I should say he was. CARVE. Oh, well that's not so bad. Better than I thought! It's so difficult to judge where one is--er--personally concerned. Especially if you're never on the spot. PASCOE. So it's true Mr. Carve never comes to England? CARVE. Why should he come to England? He isn't a portrait painter. It's true he owns this house, but surely that isn't sufficient excuse for living in a place like England? PASCOE. Of course, if you look at it like that, there's no particular attractiveness in England that I've ever seen. But that answer wouldn't satisfy Redcliffe Gardens. Redcliffe Gardens is persuaded that there must be a special reason. CARVE. Well, there is.