The Great ImpersonationOppenheim, E. Phillips (Edward Phillips)
General
The Great Impersonation
Oppenheim, E. Phillips (Edward Phillips)
Spy stories
First of all the Duke rose, and in a few hackneyed but earnest sentences
introduced his young friend Captain Bartram. The latter, who sprang at
once into the middle of his subject, was nervous and more than a
little bitter. He explained that he had resigned his commission and
was therefore free to speak his mind. He spoke of enormous military
preparations in Germany and a general air of tense expectation. Against
whom were these preparations? Without an earthly doubt against Germany's
greatest rival, whose millions of young men, even in this hour of
danger, preferred playing or watching football or cricket on Saturday
afternoons to realising their duty. The conclusion of an ill-pointed but
earnest speech was punctuated by the furtive entrance into the hall of
a small boy selling evening newspapers, and there was a temporary
diversion from any interest in the proceedings on the part of the
younger portion of the audience, whilst they satisfied themselves as to
the result of various Cup Ties. The Member of Parliament then descended
upon them in a whirlwind of oratory and in his best House of Commons
style. He spoke of black clouds and of the cold breeze that went before
the coming thunderstorm. He pointed to the collapse of every great
nation throughout history who had neglected the arts of self-defence. He
appealed to the youth of the nation to prepare themselves to guard their
womenkind, their homes, the sacred soil of their country, and at that
point was interrupted by a drowsy member of the audience with stentorian
lungs, who seemed just at that moment to have waked up.
“What about the Navy, guv'nor?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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