New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Suddenly she thought she heard him call. She parted the curtains and
listened. No, it was only a man snoring at the other end of the car. His
snores had a greasy sound, as though they passed through tallow. She lay
down and tried to sleep... Had she not heard him move? She started up
trembling... The silence frightened her more than any sound. He might
not be able to make her hear--he might be calling her now... What made
her think of such things? It was merely the familiar tendency of an
over-tired mind to fasten itself on the most intolerable chance within
the range of its forebodings.... Putting her head out, she listened; but
she could not distinguish his breathing from that of the other pairs of
lungs about her. She longed to get up and look at him, but she knew the
impulse was a mere vent for her restlessness, and the fear of disturbing
him restrained her.... The regular movement of his curtain reassured
her, she knew not why; she remembered that he had wished her a cheerful
good-night; and the sheer inability to endure her fears a moment longer
made her put them from her with an effort of her whole sound tired body.
She turned on her side and slept.
She sat up stiffly, staring out at the dawn. The train was rushing
through a region of bare hillocks huddled against a lifeless sky. It
looked like the first day of creation. The air of the car was close, and
she pushed up her window to let in the keen wind. Then she looked at
her watch: it was seven o’clock, and soon the people about her would be
stirring. She slipped into her clothes, smoothed her dishevelled
hair and crept to the dressing-room. When she had washed her face and
adjusted her dress she felt more hopeful. It was always a struggle for
her not to be cheerful in the morning. Her cheeks burned deliciously
under the coarse towel and the wet hair about her temples broke
into strong upward tendrils. Every inch of her was full of life and
elasticity. And in ten hours they would be at home!
She stepped to her husband’s berth: it was time for him to take his
early glass of milk. The window-shade was down, and in the dusk of the
curtained enclosure she could just see that he lay sideways, with his
face away from her. She leaned over him and drew up the shade. As she
did so she touched one of his hands. It felt cold....
She bent closer, laying her hand on his arm and calling him by name. He
did not move. She spoke again more loudly; she grasped his shoulder and
gently shook it. He lay motionless. She caught hold of his hand again:
it slipped from her limply, like a dead thing. A dead thing? ... Her
breath caught. She must see his face. She leaned forward, and hurriedly,
shrinkingly, with a sickening reluctance of the flesh, laid her hands on
his shoulders and turned him over. His head fell back; his face looked
small and smooth; he gazed at her with steady eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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