New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“It’s not I--it’s our being together that’s impossible. I only want you
to see that marriage won’t help it.”
“What will help it then?”
She raised her head.
“My leaving you.”
“Your leaving me?” He sat motionless, staring at the tassel which lay at
the other end of the room. At length some impulse of retaliation for the
pain she was inflicting made him say deliberately:
“And where would you go if you left me?”
“Oh!” she cried.
He was at her side in an instant.
“Lydia--Lydia--you know I didn’t mean it; I couldn’t mean it! But you’ve
driven me out of my senses; I don’t know what I’m saying. Can’t you get
out of this labyrinth of self-torture? It’s destroying us both.”
“That’s why I must leave you.”
“How easily you say it!” He drew her hands down and made her face him.
“You’re very scrupulous about yourself--and others. But have you thought
of me? You have no right to leave me unless you’ve ceased to care--”
“It’s because I care--”
“Then I have a right to be heard. If you love me you can’t leave me.”
Her eyes defied him.
“Why not?”
He dropped her hands and rose from her side.
“Can you?” he said sadly.
The hour was late and the lamp flickered and sank. She stood up with a
shiver and turned toward the door of her room.
V
At daylight a sound in Lydia’s room woke Gannett from a troubled sleep.
He sat up and listened. She was moving about softly, as though fearful
of disturbing him. He heard her push back one of the creaking shutters;
then there was a moment’s silence, which seemed to indicate that she was
waiting to see if the noise had roused him.
Presently she began to move again. She had spent a sleepless night,
probably, and was dressing to go down to the garden for a breath of air.
Gannett rose also; but some undefinable instinct made his movements
as cautious as hers. He stole to his window and looked out through the
slats of the shutter.
It had rained in the night and the dawn was gray and lifeless. The
cloud-muffled hills across the lake were reflected in its surface as in
a tarnished mirror. In the garden, the birds were beginning to shake the
drops from the motionless laurustinus-boughs.
An immense pity for Lydia filled Gannett’s soul. Her seeming
intellectual independence had blinded him for a time to the feminine
cast of her mind. He had never thought of her as a woman who wept and
clung: there was a lucidity in her intuitions that made them appear to
be the result of reasoning. Now he saw the cruelty he had committed
in detaching her from the normal conditions of life; he felt, too, the
insight with which she had hit upon the real cause of their suffering.
Their life was “impossible,” as she had said--and its worst penalty was
that it had made any other life impossible for them. Even had his
love lessened, he was bound to her now by a hundred ties of pity and
self-reproach; and she, poor child! must turn back to him as Latude
returned to his cell....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account