Well, in one of her rambles after bargains, the old thing had stumbled upon a little poking hole of an out-of-the-way chemist’s shop, with a bill in the window, announcing that _they_ (pretty they!) were now selling _their_ best Epsom salts at the low price of seven pounds a shilling; and as my lady was in the habit of paying twopence and threepence for every pound weight of the stuff she swallowed, why this was a temptation that she could not resist; so she must needs go prancing into the shop, saying she would take one pound just to try. The old thing came home to dinner, quite full of her bargain, and she would undo the parcel, and show us what a beautiful quality the stuff was; declaring, that if it only turned out as good as she expected, she would buy all there was in the place, for they were so cheap, she said, that she felt perfectly satisfied they must have been stolen,--and promising herself a couple of ounces of it, by way of a nice treat in the morning. At breakfast, the next day, she told us that it seemed as if some superior power had led her to buy her salts yesterday; for she had just heard from Susan that the small-pox had already reached the next door but one, and she had no doubt that it would be our turn next. Then she went on so dreadfully about it, and we all got so terribly alarmed, that we were ready to do anything--for she kept dinning in our ears, that vaccination was only good for seven years, and that the only chance we had of escaping it, and preventing our faces being pitted all over like a honeycomb, was to sweeten our blood with a little cooling medicine, and that really a spoonful or two of her salts all round was just the very thing we wanted. Edward too seemed to take a delight in aggravating the horrors of the disease, and exaggerating the virtues of the remedy which Mrs. Yapp had prescribed for us, and kept on until at last we did as she wished, and swallowed a couple of spoonfuls each. After which I had Miss Susan up, and made her take some, as well, for I had no idea of having her laid up in the house, and paying, goodness knows what amount, in doctor’s bills for her. But she was too much afraid of her complexion and beauty being spoiled to require much persuasion. Edward had gone to chambers when dear mother, who was reading the advertisements in the _Times_, gave a loud scream, and cried out, “We are all poisoned!” And sure enough she showed me an advertisement at the top of the second column in the first page, headed CAUTION, and running as follows:--