“The stout, elderly Lady, with tortoiseshell spectacles, and dressed in a black straw bonnet, trimmed with canary ribbon, with a small squirrel tippet, and a black German velvet gown, is earnestly requested not to take any of the pound of Salts she bought at the Chemist’s in M--nm--th Str--t, S--v--n D--ls, and said she would have more if she liked them, as through the mistake of an inexperienced apprentice, she was served with Oxalic Acid instead.” No one can imagine the dreadful state this threw us all into, and it was as much as I could do to prevent mother from flying at Mrs. Yapp and tearing her to pieces, limb by limb, on the spot; only I said that she had much better turn her thoughts to some antidote, and leave the wretched old woman to her own dreadful feelings. Whereupon, dear mother merely called her a murderess some half-dozen times, and gave her to understand, that even if she was lucky enough, to get over it, as sure as their names were Yapp and B--ff--n, she would have her hung for it. The old cat, however, told her not to talk in that foolish way--as she had done it all for the best--but to see about taking as much chalk or lime as we possibly could, as that was the only thing that could save us. And then I declare if the old thing didn’t seize hold of the fire shovel with one hand, and a plate off the breakfast table with the other, and jumping up on a chair, began scraping away at my beautiful ceiling, whilst I ran down-stairs, and, telling Susan what had happened, and what Mrs. Yapp had prescribed as an antidote, we both of us made a rush at the plaster of Paris images that the girl had stuck up over the mantelpiece; and whilst she was devouring her beautiful painted parrot, I eat Napoleon Bonaparte all but his boots. Dear mother, who wouldn’t believe in anything that Mrs. Yapp said, declared that nothing would do her good but candles, and the poor dear soul had got through a whole rushlight and the better part of a long six, by the time that Mrs. Toosypegs (whom I had packed off in a cab to our doctor, and the chemist who had sold Mrs. Yapp the poison, and for Edward) got back to us again, bringing the chemist himself with her, and who said he was happy to inform us that it was all a mistake, and that the packet of oxalic acid, which they had fancied the young man had served the lady in tortoiseshell spectacles with, had been found, and that we had taken nothing but the very best Epsom salts after all.