Edward came rushing in shortly afterwards; and when he heard that it had only been a false alarm, I declare if he didn’t fall down on the sofa, and nearly split his sides; which made us all so wild, that I really felt as if I could have boxed the ears of the unfeeling monster; and I know for a positive fact that dear mother’s hands were itching to do it as well. As it was, the good old soul rated him soundly; for not being able to contain herself, she flew out at him, and told him that he ought to be ashamed of himself to lie there, as he was, chuckling over the distresses of the very woman whom he had sworn to love and cherish in sickness as well as in health--to say nothing of herself, who was my mother--and that at a time, too, when he ought to go down on his bended knees, and thank his stars for our miraculous escape. But Edward only grinned the more, and kept telling her that it was as good fun as the Derby-day, and that he had never known such capital sport after the Epsom Cup before. This was too much for my beloved parent; and she didn’t hesitate to tell him that she wouldn’t stop in the house another minute; and, after his inhuman, and, she might say, ungentlemanly conduct, would never set foot in it again so long as she lived. And accordingly, out of the room she bounced, and up-stairs she went, and having packed up her things, off she took herself. Directly Edward found how well he had got rid of dear mother, he began to see what he could do with Mrs. Yapp. But though he said all kinds of sharp, cutting things to her, still it was no good, for she hadn’t got mother’s fine spirit, and really seemed to be as hard to get out of the house as black beetles are. However, at one time, he did make her say, that directly she learnt that her house in the country was fit to receive her, and the smell of the paint was fairly out of it, she would not trouble us any more with her company.