The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
General
The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
She went on very well at first, as they all do, indeed, and came with
her hair nicely brushed, and her face and hands and apron beautifully
clean, for two or three mornings; and then, all of a sudden, a change
came o’er the spirit of my dream, as the poet says, and anybody that had
seen her look so tidy before, would never have known her again in the
grubby state she appeared; for she used to come with her hair just the
same as when she got up in the morning, and all frayed out like so much
red worsted, and looking as coarse and fuzzy as cocoa-nut fibre--and
with the hooks and eyes nearly all off her gown behind--and her nasty
rusty black petticoat hanging down below her frock, all caked over with
old mud--and her boots burst out, and laced up three holes at a time,
just to save herself trouble, with the ends of the laces dangling about
her heels, and allowed to drag in the wet, till they really looked for
all the world like a bit of string--whilst her apron, I declare, was as
dirty as a coal-heaver’s stockings at the end of the week.
At last I found out who and what my lady was. For one day, after I had
spoken to her about the disgraceful state of her clothing, and had told
her that she really must get her boots mended if she wished to stop in
my service, lo, and behold! my little monkey appeared the next day in a
pair of old, dirty, worn-out, white satin shoes. And when I asked her
what on earth could possess her to think of ever coming into my house in
such disgraceful things as she had got on her feet, I declare, if she
didn’t tell me that they were the shoes that she wore when she used to
dance, as “_La Petite Saqui_,” on the tight-rope at the Queen’s Theatre,
in Tottenham-court-road, until she grew too stout for the business.
I uttered a faint scream at the idea of my sweet cherub being intrusted
to the care of such a creature, and asked her what in the world could
have induced her to take to such an extraordinary means of getting a
living? But she merely said that her father had a large family, and he
had apprenticed her at a very early age to her uncle, who, together with
her cousin, and a young gentleman of the name of Biler, were the
original Bedouin Brothers, and who, she told me, were declared by the
public press and her father to be the first posture-masters of the day.
I could scarcely restrain my feelings on hearing this, for, of course,
after what I had heard, I imagined that I should go up suddenly into the
nursery some fine morning, and catch “_La Petite Saqui_” doing with my
little daughter the same as I had seen Mr. Risley do with his little
boy--viz., lying down on her back, tossing up the little pet with the
soles of her feet, and catching it again on the palms of her hand.
However, I restrained my feelings, and determined to go round that very
afternoon to the oilman, and give it him well for sending such a
creature to me, with the character he did, and try if I could hear of
any other girl in the neighbourhood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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