The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
General
The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
Accordingly, as soon as my little angel of a Kate was fast asleep, I put
on my bonnet, and stepped out. To make sure that neither of the girls
could be up to any of their tricks in my absence, I took the key of the
street-door, and locked them both in.
I couldn’t have been gone above half an hour, and when I got home again,
I opened the door with as little noise as I could, in the hopes of
seeing what the minxes had been doing in my absence. I had scarcely got
half way down the passage, before--goodness gracious me!--if I didn’t
see “_La Petite Saqui_,” as the young monkey called itself, out in the
garden, with my longest clothes-pole in her hand, figuring on a
tight-rope, which she had made by tying my clothes line from the
railings to the garden-seat.
Yes, there she was, now springing up in the air, and now coming down,
and sitting on the rope for a minute, and then bounding up again, just
like an Indian-rubber ball, and then coming down again, and balancing
herself on one leg, whilst she held the other out for a few seconds; and
then running along the line towards the house as quick as she could put
one foot over the other, and stopping suddenly, with a graceful curtsy,
in the first position, just as I made my appearance at the back door.
And when I went out into the garden, bless us and save us! if the place
wasn’t just like a fair, with all the servants round about stretching
their necks out of the windows or poking their noses over the garden
walls, and that fool of a maid-of-all-work of an Emma of mine, standing
by looking on, with a ball of whiting in her hand, and her mouth wide
open with wonder.
They no sooner saw me, than down jumped that fat lump of goods, “_La
Petite Saqui_,” and off she scampered, and I after her, all round the
garden, with my parasol, trying to give it her well, amidst roars of
laughter from all the servants looking on.
As for my tight-rope dancer, I wasn’t long in getting her out of the
house, for directly I caught her, I took her by the scruff of the neck,
and, bundling her into the street, threw her bonnet out after her.
Then I went down-stairs, and told that stupid thing of an Emma, that if
ever I caught her idling her time away, instead of minding her
work--which, I was sure, was quite enough for her to do, and if it
wasn’t, I could easily find her some more--I’d serve her just in the
same way, and not give her a character into the bargain. For I felt that
if a stop were not put to such goings-on, at their very commencement,
that really there would be no saying to what lengths such a simpleton as
Emma might not go.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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