The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
General
The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
“Li--ar,--return--ed--the--aughty--Hearl--of--H--e
--i--Hi--d--e--l--del--b--e--r--g--berg--Heidelberg--
in--a--tone--of--suppress--ed--hire--dare--you--her--
p--a--r--par--her--par--a--her--par--a--m--o--u--r
--mowr--her--par--a--mowr--speak--thus.”
Upon my word, too, that stupid Betsy filled the poor boy’s head,
directly she heard he was a foundling, with such a lot of rubbish, about
his being a “Mysterious Horphan,” and making him pull up his
shirt-sleeves to see if he had any strawberry mark by which his
parentage might be discovered, and be acknowledged as the rightful heir
to his estates, that I could have given it her well, I could; for she
had the impudence to tell the poor boy that noble blood flowed in his
veins, and actually went to the length of asking me, whether I ever
_heerd_ tell of any peer of the realm whose family name might be
Wittals?
But what disgusted me with the woman more than anything else, was, that
she was so fond of the mischievous young imp, that in order to screen
him she would stand for hours, and tell me tarrididdles as long as my
arm, and which really used to make my blood all run cold to listen to.
And even if I had seen the young monkey break one of my windows through
his nasty cruel love of throwing stones at the poor sparrows, as he
always was, she’d even then have the face to stand me out that she did
it, though I always took good care to punish her well for it, by
stopping it out of her wages--which, considering Wittals had none to
stop it out of, I wasn’t at all sorry at being obliged by her obstinacy
to do.
Owing to that monkey of a Wittals going making a pig of himself inside
the sugar cask, my doctor never came round till near upon five o’clock
to see my poor little patient angel of a Kitty, who was suffering _so_
dreadfully with her nasty--nasty tiresome teeth; and the consequence
was, that my little cherub was so much worse, and in such a burning
high fever, that I declare she lay almost powerless in my arms, not
stirring a limb, with the lids half down over her eyes, as if she were
stupified with pain in her head. I never was so much alarmed in all my
life, and I kept bathing her temples with vinegar, and crying over her,
expecting that every minute she would be going into convulsions, and
that I should be having the cherub snatched from me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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