The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
General
The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
When the doctor came, he lanced her gums and ordered her to be put in a
warm bath directly, and to have three leeches put upon each temple.
Betsy put the leeches on, for it made my flesh creep to see, let alone
to handle, the nasty slimy things, like the fingers of wet black kid
gloves; and, besides, I knew I should faint dead off directly I saw my
poppit’s vital stream trickling down her little cheeks. When the nasty
things were taken off my pet, that stupid Betsy came down to me to know
if I should like them kept. “Kept!” I cried; “bless the woman, no; go
and throw them over the garden, and let the fowls at the Simmondses have
them, for Heaven’s sake.” Of course what must she do but take them down
stairs first, just to let that young monkey of a Wittals catch sight of
them, and no sooner did he set eyes upon them, than he went to work and
wheedled my lady into letting him have the filthy things to keep in one
of my old pickle bottles in his bedroom--though from all I had said to
her about the crawling creatures, she very well knew that I wouldn’t
have them in the house for all that anybody could give me; for I can’t
say how it is, but I really had a presentiment at the time that if they
were not destroyed, something awful would happen. Nor was I wrong, and
all through that wicked, story-telling, perverse Betsy, and that
good-for-nothing, careless, menagerie-keeping young imp of a
Wittals--though, for the matter of that, he wasn’t half so much to blame
as she was.
My beautiful poor little lamb of a Kate, though much better, was still
so ill that I didn’t like to let her sleep with nurse; so I told Sarah
to put her in our bed. But the little dove was so restless all night
that I couldn’t get a wink of sleep, and had to be either sitting up in
the bed trying to rock her off to sleep, or else taking it in turns with
Edward to pace the room with her in my arms, and merely a shawl over my
shoulders. The consequence of this was, that the cold and cough which
had been hanging about me ever since I was wet through, were not at all
improved the next day. So in the morning, when Mr. Jupp, our medical
adviser, called to see my little trot, I asked him if he would be good
enough to send me round another box of the very nice cough lozenges
which he had in his shop, and which had already done me a world of good.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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