The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
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The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
No sooner did my poor dear Carlo, who was lying before the fire, see
something fall, than up he jumped, and began sniffing away at it, and
turning it over and over with his nose, until I declare if the reptile
didn’t fasten right upon it; and there he was scampering about the room,
with one of the brutes dangling to _his_ nasal organ as well, tossing
his head about, and growling away all the time like a mad thing; as for
pulling the one at the end of _mine_ off, positively it was a waste of
time to try; for really and truly, the creature clung as fast as a
barnacle, and besides being as slippery as an eel, was as elastic as
Indian rubber. Off I flew to the bell, and pulled it hard enough to have
pulled it down, all the time shaking my head away, in the hopes that I
should be able to jerk the creature off, before that snail of a Betsy
came with the salt--which, however, was the only means of getting rid
of it--and which I’m sure she was ten minutes, if she was a second, in
bringing to me.
As soon as the leech was off, I turned round upon Miss Betsy, and
showing her the little star that the long black ogre had made at the end
of my nose, (which really was as white as a parsnip too,) I told her to
look _there_, and see how her wickedness had marked me to my dying day,
(and sure enough I’ve got the scar now,) and then ask herself if she
thought it was likely that I was going to keep her in my establishment
another moment after such treatment as that. However, there was one
thing that I could tell her, and that was, that I wasn’t--so I very
civilly told her to go and pack up her trumpery things and rubbishing
romances, and be out of the house before half-an-hour was over her head;
and so, thank goodness gracious, the stupid, sentimental, novel-reading,
leech-preserving hussy was.
As for that Master Wittals, I told Edward that either he or I must leave
the house. And as I knew Mr. Sk--n--st--n wanted a sharp active lad in
his office, and Wittals was sharp and active enough, Heaven knows, why,
I made Edward take him down to L--nc--ln’s Inn, the very following
morning, where he could try and see if he could manage the wild young
colt.
Now, thank goodness, it is Miss Sarah’s turn!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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