The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant. — John Shaqi
The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
General
The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
At tea, little was said by either party--and, indeed, it was a sorry
meal. For my poor mamma had been thrown into such a flurry by Edward’s
cruel, ungrateful treatment, that she could not for the life of her lay
her hands upon the lump-sugar, and we were obliged to put up with moist,
to which Edward has a horrid dislike--and Mary had forgotten to take in
the milk while she was in her fit--and mamma had had the misfortune to
cut the bread and butter with an oniony knife, which gave my husband’s
stomach quite a turn; so that everything went crooked with us that
evening, and we were not sorry when the time came for mamma to leave. As
she was putting on her bonnet, she told me that Edward had behaved so
rude to her, that he really had quite upset her, (to use a figure of
speech,) and she didn’t know how she was ever to manage to get home, for
she positively couldn’t say whether she was walking on her head or her
heels.
When Edward and I retired for the night, the sheets which were intended
for our bed having been burnt to tinder, and having no others aired, we
were obliged to sleep between the blankets, which in no way allayed poor
Edward’s irritation. So that, from the time we went to bed to the time
we got up in the morning, he did nothing but amuse himself by fancying
all sorts of uncomfortable things, and would have it that the feather
bed was damp; and said that it was ten to one if my mother’s treasure
(as he delighted to call her) didn’t make us both get up in the morning
with churchyard coughs at least--or, more probably, with such a severe
attack of the rheumatics, as we should never get over to our dying
days--and which, he nearly frightened me out of my wits by declaring, he
confidently expected would render us both cripples for the rest of our
lives. Indeed, he actually, at one time, went so far as to jump up, and
swear that he would not rest until he took the bed from under me.
I trust I acted during this severe trial as became a woman with her
proper feelings about her; for, as this was the first serious difference
Edward and I had had since our union, I thought it best to let him know
that I was no longer the mere child that he seemed to take me for, and
that I was not going to allow myself to be trodden under foot like a
worm, (not I, indeed!) For I felt that, if I did not at once give him to
understand to the contrary, he might be induced to presume upon my
naturally retiring disposition; so I kept on sobbing as if my heart
would break half the night through, and did not allow him to have any
quiet until I had made him confess that he was in the wrong--and that he
had carried his airs too far--and that my dear mamma, at least, had done
all for the best--and that he should be very happy to see her to dinner
to-morrow--and that her greatest enemy could not but say, that she
meant very well.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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