of the thing--up and down the chimney, and positively would have induced one, at first sight, to believe that a body had been led to the altar in bombazeen. I declare the beastly sooty stuff was everywhere,--there was a shovelful, at least, in my white satin shoes--and my white gloves were like black kid both inside and out--and it had even got right up my nostrils--and I do verily believe that a quantity had gone down my throat, for I generally sleep with my mouth open. But what annoyed me so that I could hardly bear myself was, that Edward kept chuckling at all my distress, (just like a man--for of course he knew _he_ wouldn’t have the cleaning of it.) But when I showed him the grubby state that his ducks were in, I was quite glad to see how angry it made him. And then of course it was all his mother-in-law’s fault bringing him her bothering twopenny-halfpenny lamps; and I really thought I should have been obliged to go into hysterics when I heard him say that the next time he caught my dear, respected mamma in his house, he’d pack her off with a flea in her ear! And a pretty situation I was in, to be sure. I daren’t for the life of me open my mouth, for fear that the hussy should leave me at a moment’s notice, at such a time, when, bad as she was, it was impossible to do without her; and there were my bridal robes spoilt before my very eyes, and I didn’t know how on earth I was ever to receive my friends, as I really hadn’t a single thing to put on. CHAPTER IV. HOW MARY TURNED OUT, AND HOW HER GOINGS-ON ON MY “AT-HOME” DAY NEARLY DROVE ME WILD. “Ay, laugh, ye fiends! laugh, laugh, ye fiends! Yes, by Heaven! yes, by Heaven! they’ve driven me mad! I see her dancing in the hall--I see her dancing in the hall-- I see her dancing--she heeds me not! Yes, by Heaven! yes, by Heaven! they’ve driven me mad! Yes, by Heaven! yes, by Heaven! they’ve driven me mad!” HENRY RUSSELL, “_The Maniac_.” As soon as I had recovered my scattered senses, I rang the bell for Mary; and when she came up, I declare I could scarcely go near her, she smelt of drink so horridly, though wherever she could have got it at that hour I couldn’t, if any one had given me a hundred guineas, make out at the time. (But I wasn’t long in finding out where my lady went to for it, as the reader will presently see.) And I do verily believe that such a toad never entered a respectable woman’s service before.