The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
General
The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
All that precious day long I had to answer every tiresome knock at the
door myself, and really just because we had no maid, persons seemed to
take a delight in calling. But thanks to goodness, they were all
tradespeople, whom (of course) I did not so much care about, though I
only opened the door to them just wide enough to take the things in, for
fear of the neighbours, who I knew would be but too glad to laugh at me
in my distress. Indeed, the only person that I showed myself to that day
was the butcher’s boy, when he called for orders; and who being a mere
lad, I didn’t mind about seeing me; and I got him, for a glass of
table-beer and a penny, to take a letter to dear mother, asking her to
look round immediately, and call and see her darling angel (that is
myself) in her affliction, which I knew she would be happy to do.
But as it was a wet day, poor dear mother was so long before she dropped
in upon me, that I made certain she wouldn’t come that morning, so I set
to work to prepare Edward’s dinner. As he is fond of made dishes, I
thought I could not do better than give him a sweet little toad in the
hole, especially as it was very easy to make, and I could get the baker
to take it with him to the bakehouse when he left our daily bread in the
afternoon. While I was making the batter to cover the toad with, a
tremendous double-knock came to the door, which nearly made me drop the
egg I had in my hand at the time. As of course I could not, in the state
that I was, go up to the door myself and say I was not at home, I
thought it best to let them knock away until they were tired; and it was
not until I had heard them do so, I should say, seven or eight times at
least, that I went to the kitchen window, and pulled aside the blind I
had let down, when who should it be but poor dear mother, whom I had
kept waiting all that time in the pouring rain, and who, when she got
down in the kitchen, I found to be literally dripping. Having taken off
her pattens, and put her umbrella to dry in the back kitchen, I threw up
the cinders, and made such a nice comfortable clear fire for her, and
got the dear old soul to drink off a glass of scalding-hot spirits and
water, which, I assured her, would not hurt her, as it would keep the
cold out nicely, and which she consented to take in the light of
medicine, as she said she was certain she wanted it; adding, that she
felt as if every bone in her body was broken to bits, and she was sure
that on her road she had picked up the shivers somewhere.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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