Europe -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Great Britain -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Love stories
Slowly, she first, we went down the narrow stairs to my landing. In the
sudden flare of my match there was revealed a threepenny-bit of flesh
just above the heel of her left shoe, and I had occasion to rebuke
myself on the depravity that is man. She said over her shoulder: “Hilary
Townshend has told me about you....”
“But he has never told me about you!”
“Oh, he would if you provoked him!”
“And may I?”
But she did not seem to hear. Once Hilary had, I thought, said something
about Gerald March having a sister, but I had not connected the vaguely
heard name of Mrs. Storm with her. I don’t know why, but I had always
imagined Gerald’s sister as a schoolgirl living somewhere in the country
with a bankrupt old gentleman called Lord Portairley, Gerald’s uncle.
We were on my small landing now, in the light that plunged out of the
half-open door of my sitting-room: she with a foot on the stairs leading
downwards, away.
“Good-bye,” she said. “Really, I think you’ve been very kind....”
She seemed to me very nice and gentle; yes, nice; and then it seemed to
me that across her gentleness flamed a bar of fire. She walked, oh,
impersonally, in the fires of herself. I was on another planet. Hilary
tells me now that he also had that feeling with her; but Hilary must
have struggled against it, whereas I am incapable of struggling against
any feeling.
“Good-bye,” I said.
I was looking not at her but through the half-open door into my room.
There lay the disorder of my life, the jumble, the lack of purpose, the
silence, and the defeat of my life. I wasn’t, it seems almost an
intrusion to say, very happy in those days; but that is by the way in
the history of Gerald March and Iris Storm.
Now here is the difficult part of this history. Of the many gaps it will
contain, this seems to me the most grave, the least excusable. One
should write, if not well, at least plausibly, about the things that
happen. And yet I cannot be plausible about this, because I do not know
how it happened. I mean, how she came into my room and sat down. I did
not ask her. Did she want to? Mrs. Storm was a lady who gave you a sense
of the conventions. Mrs. Storm was a ... and yet ... I do not know
anything about her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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