Europe -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Great Britain -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Love stories
I saw it for the first time (writes the Author) on the eve of my removal
from one residence in London to another; although when I say residence I
mean that I was, by the grace of God and at the impulse of my own
temerity, removing to somewhat more habitable premises nearby from two
rooms and a bathroom above a mean lane in a place called Shepherd’s
Market. Not that our lane hadn’t attractions of its own to offer. Our
lane was one in which many improbable things were wont to happen, but it
somehow seemed inevitable that such things should happen there. But
maybe I had better select a few of these things, that you may know the
sort of lane ours was. I have seen men arrested there, and I have seen
a heavy constable worsted in a fight with a little Jew pickpocket, who
was for some time responsible for a rag-shop in our lane. I have seen
two butlers fighting in our lane. I have seen a very old nobleman woo a
flower-girl in our lane, but whether or not she ever favoured his suit
our lane had no means of telling. One night I fell over the body of a
woman lying in the blood of a broken head, and in our lane by night
policemen solace themselves by smoking cigarettes into the crowns of
their helmets, while cats, I must tell you, will never cease to sport
together all about it.
But it was by day that our lane attained to any real interest for a
student of such things, for then it was sacred to the activities of a
hearty-looking man in a brown bowler-hat, who with one hand would write
interminably in a small book, while with the other he dealt with passing
men in slips of paper known to the law as “betting-slips.” As partner to
the hearty-looking man--we are, I venture to say, already embarked on
our tale, for these gentlemen will make a faint devil’s chorus for more
spacious happenings--was a tall, wizened man who wore a check cap and
had hair growing out of his ears. This man would stand at one end of the
lane and now and then say, “Oi!” When he had said “Oi!” he would light a
cigarette, while the hearty-looking man would run heavily round our end
of the lane, for “Oi!” meant that the law was after him. When the law
had gone he would come back wiping his mouth, and jokes were exchanged
with the butcher and the fishmonger; but when the law really wanted
him, say twice a year, a posse of policemen would simultaneously rush
both ends of our lane, and the hearty-looking man was mulcted in a fine
not exceeding so much and was back again the next morning within a yard
of my door. Among his most persistent admirers was a little bent old man
with blood-shot eyes and a twitching mouth, who was a window-cleaner
without a Union, which meant that he would clean a window for threepence
and want no tip. He liked me, and used to give me racing information,
but I never won anything.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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