Europe -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Great Britain -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Love stories
One never knew, as he sat there or as he strode about the streets,
careless as a fakir impelled always towards a terrible and nameless
penance, what he could be thinking of. Maybe he was thinking of nothing.
Once I saw him come out of a Cinema Theatre with a look on his face as
though he had been tortured. He always looked, you know, like
something. You noticed him.
He had a grey suit. It was thin as paper, but still defiantly retained a
little of that casual elegance which not even Gerald could wholly
divorce from the combination of a good tailor and a lean Englishman. He
never had but one other suit that I ever saw, a brown affair, but he
bartered that with a boot-mender in Shepherd’s Market in exchange for
mending his shoes. And he had a hat. That was a hat. And never was
Gerald seen wearing an overcoat, no matter whether it blew, rained,
snowed or froze. See him any winter evening striding down Half-Moon
Street in the biting rain, his thin grey suit blackening with it, the
jacket held by one button with deep creases into his waist, the shapes
of his knuckles stuck through his trouser pockets, that hat--there, but
for the grace of God, went the most lovable man I ever met.
“Gerald--I say, Gerald! Why don’t you wear a coat on a day like this?
Gerald, aren’t you an ass!”
“Coat?” Thoughtful he was always, and his dark, sunk eyes would pierce
the pavement or the sky with unutterable contempt. “Coat!” And he would
repeat the word softly until, you understand, he had grasped the
enormous idea, when he would say softly, savagely: “What the hell d’you
mean, ‘coat’?” and away he would go, towards that terrible and nameless
penance of his.
Well, the flourish goes, the gesture is gone, to the limbo that yawns
for all such vanities in the very second of their birth. The Cavalier
of Low Creatures was never, to be sure, hailed as more than a zero. But,
even as the ground is not the limit of a man’s fall, as you may see in
the picture with the trail of flame, so zero is not the limit of a man’s
nothingness; for what is that which is nothing but so completely nothing
that it may not have even the mark of nothing? It is, to be sure, zero
without the formative circle round it.
That solitary drunkard, that soiled ascetic! Those nightmare women, soft
as the grass of Parnassus, marvellously acquiescent, possible.
Aphrodite, Ariadne, Anaïtis, white as marble, silent as marble, silent
and acquiescent, possible, as only goddesses could be, the goddesses of
soiled dreams, as no woman born of woman could ever be....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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