Betrothal -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
“... grant that this day we fall into no sin, neither run into any kind
of danger: but that all our doings may be ordered by Thy governance to
do that which is right....” Mr. Smart’s voice brought back the church,
the choir with two girls in large flowered hats, the little boys, Mr.
Hart, the butcher, and Mr. Swithan, the grocer, the broad backs in the
family pew. Aunt Aggie, Aunt Betty, Henry, Mrs. Trenchard, Millie,
Philip, George Trenchard, Rachel Seddon (the family pew was a hideous
box with a door to it, and you could see only the top half of the
Trenchards.... They, however, could see everything: Mrs. Trenchard could
see the choir, and the choir knew it). Because Katherine was never late,
therefore was she denied the opportunity of studying the Collective
Trenchard Back. To-day she had it in front of her, and it seemed,
suddenly, to be something with which she herself had no concern at all.
For an amazing, blinding, and most desolating moment she viewed the
Trenchards as a stranger might view them. Her loneliness was appalling.
She belonged to no one. She had no place nor country: her mother and
Philip had left her ... only a strange woman, watching her to see what
she would do, laughed at her. As she stood up and Mr. Smart gave out the
hymn, she saw that there was a hole in her glove. She felt shabby and
hot, and covered the hole with her other hand, because during that
moment she was positively, actively conscious of the other woman’s
curious, hostile gaze; then, as the hymn began, security came back to
her—her heart beat quietly again.
* * * * *
“Why were you late, dear?” said Aunt Aggie, walking back through the
wood.
“I dawdled.”
“Dawdled! How unlike you, dear! I remember years ago when I dawdled one
Sunday mother saying ... Oh, dear, there it begins again!”
“Is your tooth bad?”
“Never mind, dear, say nothing about it. The last thing I should wish
for would be a fuss. I thought poor Mr. Smart at his very worst this
morning. Since his last child was born he’s never preached a good
sermon. Really, it’s difficult to be patient with him.”
“Have you done anything for it, Aunt Aggie?”
“Iodine. It comes and goes. If it were only steady....”
Katherine knew that it was of the utmost importance to be sympathetic,
but all that she could think of in her head was, “How silly to worry
about a tooth! How silly to worry about a tooth!...” She knew at once
that Aunt Aggie saw that she was unsympathetic, and that she resented it
deeply.
“Mind you say nothing, dear,” she said, as they crossed the lawn. “You
know that I hate a fuss.” And Katherine, who had stopped on the grass
and was staring at the horizon, did not even answer. Then Aunt Betty
came up and said: “What a delightful sermon! Mr. Smart gets better and
better.”
Aunt Aggie did not trust herself to speak.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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