Betrothal -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
No other church could ever mean so much to Katherine as this, her shabby
friend. She was glad that it was no show place for inquisitive tourists
to come tramping over with haughty eyes and scornful boasts. It was her
own ... she loved it because strangers would always say: “How hideous!”
because she could remember it on wonderful summer evenings when through
the open doors the congregation could hear the tinkling sheep-bells and
smell the pinks from the Rectory garden, on wild nights when the sea
gales howled round its warm, happy security, on Christmases, on Easters,
on Harvest Festivals: she loved it on the evenings when, with its lights
covering its plainness, the Garth villagers would shout their souls away
over “Onward, Christian soldiers” or “For all the Saints” or would sink
into sentimental tenderness over “Abide with me” and “Saviour, again to
Thy dear name”; she loved it because here she had been sad and happy,
frightened and secure, proud and humble, victorious and defeated ... as
this morning she sank on her knees, burying her face in her hands, she
felt at first as though her Friend had found her, had encircled her with
His arm, had drawn her into safety....
And yet, after a little while, her unrest returned. As Mr. Smart and the
congregation hurried through the psalms for the day, trying, as it were,
to beat one another in the friendly race, Katherine felt again that
insistent pressure and pursuit. Her mind left the church: she was back
again with Philip at Rafiel ... and now she was searching that
mysterious town for that elusive, laughing figure. Katherine had in her
mind a clear picture; she saw a woman, tall and thin, a dark face with
black, ironical eyes, hair jet black, a figure alert, independent,
sometimes scornful, never tragic or despairing. “If she knew me she
would despise me” ... this thought came flashing like a sudden stream of
light across the church. “If she knew me she’d despise me ... despise me
for everything, even perhaps for loving Philip”—and yet she felt no
hostility; of a certainty no jealousy, only a little pain at her heart
and a strange conviction that the world was altered now simply because
there was a new figure in it. And there were so many things that she
wanted to know. Why had Anna dismissed Philip? Was it simply because she
was tired of him? Was it perhaps for his own sake, because she thought
that he was wasting his life and character there. No, Anna probably did
not think about his character.... Did she still care for him and, now
that he was gone, long for him? Well, Katherine had him now, and no one
should take him.... Would she, perhaps, write to Philip and try to
compel him to return? Did she think of the son who had died? Had she
much heart or was she proud and indifferent?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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