Betrothal -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
Now her whole impulse was that Philip must at all costs be protected and
defended, and, for the first time, this afternoon, sitting there alone
with the world all hers, she realised how her feeling for him had
changed. When she had first known him she had fallen in love with him
because she had thought him the strongest, most adventurous, most
fearless of mortal souls. Now—she knew that he was weak, afraid of
himself, unbalanced, a prey to moods, impulses, terrors—and with that
knowledge of him her love had grown, had flung its wide arm about him,
had caught him to her heart with a fierce protection that the attraction
for his strength had never given her.
With her new knowledge of him came also her direct antagonism with that
other woman. She knew that what Philip had said was true, that her
curiosity had increased for them both the live actuality of that figure.
Katherine had always been afraid of cynical people, who must, always,
she felt, despise her for the simplicity of her beliefs, the confidence
of her trust. She remembered a woman who had, at one time, been a close
friend of Aunt Aggie’s, a sharp, masculine woman with pincenez, who,
when Katherine had said anything, had looked at her sharply through her
glasses, laughed as though she were ringing a coin to see whether it
were good metal, and said: ‘Do you think so?’
Katherine had hated her and been always helpless before her, clumsy,
awkward and tongue-tied. Now it was a woman of that kind whom she was
called out to challenge. Her thought in church yesterday was with her
now more strongly than ever. “How she would despise me if she knew
me!...” and then, “what a power she must have if she can come back like
this into Philip’s life.”
And yet not such a power! Always before him was that world where he was
not: his fancy, running before him, cried to him: “Yes. There! There!
was happiness,” or “In such a fashion happiness will come to you”—as
though the only end of life was happiness, the security of the ideal
moment. Yes, Katherine knew why Anna had laughed at Philip.
Her thoughts turned back again then to his mad idea of their escape to
London, and, suddenly, as though some woman were with her whom she had
never seen before, some voice within her cried: “Ah! I wish he’d make me
go! simply take me prisoner, force me by brutal strength, leave me no
will nor power.” Her imagination, excited, almost breathless, began to
play round this. She saw his return, heard him ask her whether she would
go with him, heard her answer that she would not, heard him say: “But
you are in my power now. I have arranged everything. Whether you like it
or not we go....”
She would protest, but in her surrender, triumphant at heart, she would
see her utter defeat of that other woman, whose baffled ghost might
whistle across the dark moor back to its own country to find other
humours for its decision.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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