Betrothal -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
She gazed at the sea with passion. This love for the sea had been a
dominant power in her ever since she could remember, and had come she
knew not whence. It had been, in earlier days, one of the deep, unspoken
bonds between herself and Katherine, and it had been one of her most
active criticisms of Millie that ‘the girl cared nothing about the sea
whatever’. But she, Aunt Aggie, could not say why she loved it. She was
no poet, and she knew not the meaning of the word ‘Enthusiasm’. She was
ashamed a little of her passion, and, when she had walked five miles to
Smuggler’s Button or seven miles to Lingard Sand ‘just to look at it’,
she would walk stiffly home again, would give no answer to those who
asked questions, and, if driven into a corner would say she had been
‘just for a walk.’ But she loved it in all its moods, grave, gay and
terrible, loved it even when it was like a grey cotton garment designed
for the poor or when it slipped into empty space under a blind and
soaking mist. She loved the rhythm of it, the indifference of it, above
all, the strength of it. Here at last, thank God, was something that she
could admire more than herself.
She had, nevertheless, always at the back of her mind the thought that
it would be bad for it if it knew how much she thought of it; she was
always ready to be disappointed in it, although she knew that it would
never disappoint her—she was grim and unbending in her attitude to it
lest, in a moment of ecstasy, she should make cheap of her one devotion.
To-day she did not actively consider it. She sat on the rock and made up
her mind that she would take steps ‘that very day.’ Harriet, her
sister-in-law, had, during these last months, often surprised her, but
there would be no question of her action in this climax of the whole
unfortunate business.
“The young man,” as she always called Philip, would never show his face
in Trenchard circles again. Harriet might forgive, because of her love
for Katherine, his impertinence, his conceit, his irreligion, his
leading Henry into profligacy and drunkenness, she _would_ not—_could_
not—forgive his flagrant and open immorality, an immorality that had
extended over many years. As she thought of this vicious life she gave a
little shiver—a shiver of indignation, of resolution, of superiority,
and of loneliness. The world—the gay, vital, alluring world, had left
her high and dry upon that rock on which she was sitting, and, rebuke
and disapprove of it as she might, it cared little for her words.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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