Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
that others perhaps were taking advantage of the time which he was
letting slip, and that in a few days it would be too late to recapture
her, for she would be already bespoke. Among all these possibilities he
was certain of nothing; his mistress preserved a silence which wrought
him up to such a frenzy of grief that he began to ask himself whether
she might not be in hiding at Doncières, or have sailed for the Indies.
It has been said that silence is a force; in another and widely
different sense it is a tremendous force in the hands of those who are
loved. It increases the anxiety of the lover who has to wait. Nothing so
tempts us to approach another person as what is keeping us apart; and
what barrier is there so insurmountable as silence? It has been said
also that silence is a torture, capable of goading to madness him who is
condemned to it in a prison cell. But what a torture—keener than that of
having to keep silence—to have to endure the silence of the person one
loves! Robert asked himself: “What can she be doing, never to send me a
single word, like this? She hates me, perhaps, and will always go on
hating me.” And he reproached himself. Thus her silence did indeed drive
him mad with jealousy and remorse. Besides, more cruel than the silence
of prisons, that kind of silence is in itself a prison. An immaterial
enclosure, I admit, but impenetrable, this interposed slice of empty
atmosphere through which, despite its emptiness, the visual rays of the
abandoned lover cannot pass. Is there a more terrible illumination than
that of silence which shews us not one absent love but a thousand, and
shews us each of them in the act of indulging in some fresh betrayal?
Sometimes, in an abrupt relaxation of his strain, Robert would imagine
that this period of silence was just coming to an end, that the long
expected letter was on its way. He saw it, it arrived, he started at
every sound, his thirst was already quenched, he murmured: “The letter!
The letter!” After this glimpse of a phantom oasis of affection, he
found himself once more toiling across the real desert of a silence
without end.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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