Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
I asked these troopers, who did not seem at all embarrassed by my
presence, whether I too might look out of the window. They neither
objected to my doing so nor moved to make room for me. I saw Captain de
Borodino go majestically by, putting his horse into a trot, and
apparently under the illusion that he was taking part in the Battle of
Austerlitz. A few loiterers had stopped by the gate to see the regiment
file out. Erect on his charger, his face inclined to plumpness, his
cheeks of an Imperial fulness, his eye lucid, the Prince must have been
the victim of some hallucination, as I was myself whenever, after the
tramway-car had passed, the silence that followed its rumble seemed to
me to throb and echo with a vaguely musical palpitation. I was wretched
at not having said good-bye to Saint-Loup, but I went nevertheless, for
my one anxiety was to return to my grandmother; always until then, in
this little country town, when I thought of what my grandmother must be
doing by herself, I had pictured her as she was when with me,
suppressing my own personality but without taking into account the
effects of such a suppression; now, I had to free myself, at the first
possible moment, in her arms, from the phantom, hitherto unsuspected and
suddenly called into being by her voice, of a grandmother really
separated from me, resigned, having, what I had never yet thought of her
as having, a definite age, who had just received a letter from me in an
empty house, as I had once before imagined Mamma in a house by herself,
when I had left her to go to Balbec.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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