Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Alas, if to me meeting any person other than herself would not have
mattered, I felt that to her meeting anyone in the world except myself
would have been endurable. It happened that, in the course of her
morning walks, she received the salutations of plenty of fools whom she
regarded as such. But the appearance of these in her path seemed to her,
if not to hold out any promise of pleasure, to be at any rate the result
of mere accident. And she stopped them at times, for there are moments
in which one wants to escape from oneself, to accept the hospitality
offered by the soul of another person, provided always that the other,
however modest and plain it may be, is a different soul, whereas in my
heart she was exasperated to feel that what she would have found was
herself. And so, even when I had, for taking the same way as she,
another reason than my desire to see her, I trembled like a guilty man
as she came past; and sometimes, so as to neutralise anything
extravagant that there might seem to have been in my overtures, I would
barely acknowledge her bow, or would fasten my eyes on her face without
raising my hat, and succeed only in making her angrier than ever, and
begin to regard me as insolent and ill-bred besides.
She was now wearing lighter, or at any rate brighter clothes, and would
come strolling down the street in which already, as though it were
spring, in front of the narrow shops that were squeezed in between the
huge fronts of the old aristocratic mansions, over the booths of the
butter-woman and the fruit-woman and the vegetable-woman, awnings were
spread to protect them from the sun. I said to myself that the woman
whom I could see far off, walking, opening her sunshade, crossing the
street, was, in the opinion of those best qualified to judge, the
greatest living exponent of the art of performing those movements and of
making out of them something exquisitely lovely. Meanwhile she was
advancing towards me, unconscious of this widespread reputation, her
narrow, stubborn body, which had absorbed none of it, was bent stiffly
forward under a scarf of violet silk; her clear, sullen eyes looked
absently in front of her, and had perhaps caught sight of me; she was
biting her lip; I saw her straighten her muff, give alms to a beggar,
buy a bunch of violets from a flower-seller, with the same curiosity
that I should have felt in watching the strokes of a great painter’s
brush. And when, as she reached me, she gave me a bow that was
accompanied sometimes by a faint smile, it was as though she had
sketched in colour for me, adding a personal inscription to myself, a
drawing that was a masterpiece of art. Each of her gowns seemed to me
her natural, necessary surroundings, like the projection around her of a
particular aspect of her soul. On one of these Lenten mornings, when she
was on her way out to luncheon, I met her wearing a gown of bright red
velvet, cut slightly open at the throat. The face of Mme. de Guermantes
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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