Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“I should have liked if you and I could have been alone together, in
fact I would much rather have had luncheon just with you, and stayed
with you until it was time to go to my aunt’s. But this poor girl of
mine here, it is such a pleasure to her, and she is so decent to me,
don’t you know, I hadn’t the heart to refuse her. You’ll like her,
however, she’s literary, you know, a most sensitive nature, and besides
it’s such a pleasure to be with her in a restaurant, she is so charming,
so simple, always delighted with everything.”
I fancy nevertheless that, on this same morning, and then probably for
the first and last time, Robert did detach himself for a moment from the
woman whom out of successive layers of affection he had gradually
created, and beheld suddenly at some distance from himself another
Rachel, outwardly the double of his but entirely different, who was
nothing more or less than a little light of love. We had left the
blossoming orchard and were making for the train which was to take us to
Paris when, at the station, Rachel, who was walking by herself, was
recognised and accosted by a pair of common little “tarts” like herself,
who first of all, thinking that she was alone, called out: “Hello,
Rachel, you come with us; Lucienne and Germaine are in the train, and
there’s room for one more. Come on. We’re all going to the rink,” and
were just going to introduce to her two counter-jumpers, their lovers,
who were escorting them, when, noticing that she seemed a little uneasy,
they looked up and beyond her, caught sight of us, and with apologies
bade her a good-bye to which she responded in a somewhat embarrassed,
but still friendly tone. They were two poor little “tarts” with collars
of sham otter skin, looking more or less as Rachel must have looked when
Saint-Loup first met her. He did not know them, or their names even, and
seeing that they appeared to be extremely intimate with his mistress he
could not help wondering whether she too might not once have had, had
not still perhaps her place in a life of which he had never dreamed,
utterly different from the life she led with him, a life in which one
had women for a louis apiece, whereas he was giving more than a hundred
thousand francs a year to Rachel. He caught only a fleeting glimpse of
that life, but saw also in the thick of it a Rachel other than her whom
he knew, a Rachel like the two little “tarts” in the train, a
twenty-franc Rachel. In short, Rachel had for the moment duplicated
herself in his eyes, he had seen, at some distance from his own Rachel,
the little “tart” Rachel, the real Rachel, assuming that Rachel the
“tart” was more real than the other. It may then have occurred to Robert
that from the hell in which he was living, with the prospect of a rich
marriage, of the sale of his name, to enable him to go on giving Rachel
a hundred thousand francs every year, he might easily perhaps have
escaped, and have enjoyed the favours of his mistress, as the two
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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