Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
is then a bitter anguish to leave the world without having ever known
what were the embraces of the woman one has most passionately loved. As
for Rachel’s favours, however, Saint-Loup had by mere accident succeeded
in winning them all. Certainly if he had now learned that they had been
offered to all the world for a louis, he would have suffered, of course,
acutely, but would still have given a million francs for the right to
keep them, for nothing that he might have learned could have made him
emerge—since that is beyond human control and can be brought to pass
only in spite of it by the action of some great natural law—from the
path he was treading, from which that face could appear to him only
through the web of the dreams that he had already spun. The immobility
of that thin face, like that of a sheet of paper subjected to the
colossal pressure of two atmospheres, seemed to me to be being
maintained by two infinities which abutted on her without meeting, for
she held them apart. And indeed, when Robert and I were both looking at
her we did not both see her from the same side of the mystery.
It was not “Rachel when from the Lord”—who seemed to me a small
matter—it was the power of the human imagination, the illusion on which
were based the pains of love; these I felt to be vast. Robert noticed
that I appeared moved. I turned my eyes to the pear and cherry trees of
the garden opposite, so that he might think that it was their beauty
that had touched me. And it did touch me in somewhat the same way; it
also brought close to me things of the kind which we not only see with
our eyes but feel also in our hearts. These trees that I had seen in the
garden, likening them in my mind to strange deities, had not my mistake
been like the Magdalene’s when, in another garden, she saw a human form
and “thought it was the gardener”. Treasurers of our memories of the age
of gold, keepers of the promise that reality is not what we suppose,
that the splendour of poetry, the wonderful radiance of innocence may
shine in it and may be the recompense which we strive to earn, these
great white creatures, bowed in a marvellous fashion above the shade
propitious for rest, for angling or for reading, were they not rather
angels? I exchanged a few words with Saint-Loup’s mistress. We cut
across the village. Its houses were sordid. But by each of the most
wretched, of those that looked as though they had been scorched and
branded by a rain of brimstone, a mysterious traveller, halting for a
day in the accursed city, a resplendent angel stood erect, extending
broadly over it the dazzling protection of the wings of flowering
innocence: it was a pear tree. Saint-Loup drew me a little way in front
to explain:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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