Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
So he had recognised me! I saw again in my mind the wholly impersonal
salute which he had given me, raising his hand to his cap, without a
glance to indicate that he knew me, without a gesture to shew that he
was sorry he could not stop. Evidently this fiction, which he had
adopted at that moment, of not knowing me must have simplified matters
for him greatly. But I was amazed to find that he had been able to
compose himself to it so swiftly and without any instinctive movement to
betray his original impression. I had already observed at Balbec that,
side by side with that childlike sincerity of his face, the skin of
which by its transparence rendered visible the sudden tide of certain
emotions, his body had been admirably trained to perform a certain
number of well-bred dissimulations, and that, like a consummate actor,
he could, in his regimental and in his social life, play alternately
quite different parts. In one of his parts he loved me tenderly, he
acted towards me almost as if he had been my brother; my brother he had
been, he was now again, but for a moment that day he had been another
person who did not know me and who, holding the reins, his glass screwed
to his eye, without a look or a smile had lifted his disengaged hand to
the peak of his cap to give me correctly the military salute.
The stage scenery, still in its place, among which I was passing, seen
thus at close range and without the advantage of any of those effects of
lighting and distance on which the eminent artist whose brush had
painted it had calculated, was a depressing sight, and Rachel, when I
came near her, was subjected to a no less destructive force. The curves
of her charming nose had stood out in perspective, between stalls and
stage, like the relief of the scenery. It was no longer herself, I
recognised her only thanks to her eyes, in which her identity had taken
refuge. The form, the radiance of this young star, so brilliant a moment
ago, had vanished. On the other hand—as though we came close to the moon
and it ceased to present the appearance of a disk of rosy gold—on this
face, so smooth a surface until now, I could distinguish only
protuberances, discolourations, cavities. Despite the incoherence into
which were resolved at close range not only the feminine features but
the painted canvas, I was glad to be there to wander among the scenery,
all that setting which at one time my love of nature had prompted me to
dismiss as tedious and artificial until the description of it by Goethe
in _Wilhelm Meister_ had given it a sort of beauty in my eyes; and I had
already observed with delight, in the thick of a crowd of journalists or
men of fashion, friends of the actresses, who were greeting one another,
talking, smoking, as though in a public thoroughfare, a young man in a
black velvet cap and hortensia coloured skirt, his cheeks chalked in red
like a page from a Watteau album, who with his smiling lips, his eyes
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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