Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
The golden portals of the world of dreams had closed
again upon Rachel before Saint-Loup saw her emerge from the theatre, so
that the freckles and spots were of little importance. They vexed him
nevertheless, especially as, being no longer alone, he had not now the
same opportunity to dream as in the theatre. But she, for all that he
could no longer see her, continued to dictate his actions, like those
stars which govern us by their attraction even during the hours in which
they are not visible to our eyes. And so his desire for the actress with
the fine features which had no place now even in Robert’s memory had the
result that, dashing towards the old friend whom chance had brought to
the spot, he insisted upon an introduction to the person with no
features and with freckles, since she was the same person, telling
himself that later on he would take care to find out which of the two
this same person really was. She was in a hurry, she did not on this
occasion say a single word to Saint-Loup, and it was only some days
later that he finally contrived, by inducing her to leave her
companions, to escort her home. He loved her already. The need for
dreams, the desire to be made happy by her of whom one has dreamed,
bring it about that not much time is required before one entrusts all
one’s chances of happiness to her who a few days since was but a
fortuitous apparition, unknown, unmeaning, upon the boards of the
theatre.
When, the curtain having fallen, we moved on to the stage, alarmed at
finding myself there for the first time, I felt the need to begin a
spirited conversation with Saint-Loup. In this way my attitude, as I did
not know what one ought to adopt in a setting that was strange to me,
would be entirely dominated by our talk, and people would think that I
was so absorbed in it, so unobservant of my surroundings, that it was
quite natural that I should not shew the facial expressions proper to a
place in which, to judge by what I appeared to be saying, I was barely
conscious of standing; and seizing, to make a beginning, upon the first
topic that came to my mind:
“You know,” I said, “I did come to say good-bye to you the day I left
Doncières; I’ve not had an opportunity to mention it. I waved to you in
the street.”
“Don’t speak about it,” he replied, “I was so sorry. I passed you just
outside the barracks, but I couldn’t stop because I was late already. I
assure you, I felt quite wretched about it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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