Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
And he heaped on his mother the reproaches which no doubt he felt that
he himself perhaps deserved; thus it is that egoists have always the
last word; having laid down at the start that their determination is
unshakeable, the more the sentiment in them to which one appeals to make
them abandon it is touched, the more fault they find, not with
themselves who resist the appeal but with those persons who put them
under the necessity of resisting it, with the result that their own
firmness may be carried to the utmost degree of cruelty, which only
aggravates all the more in their eyes the culpability of the person who
is so indelicate as to be hurt, to be in the right, and to cause them
thus treacherously the pain of acting against their natural instinct of
pity. But of her own accord Mme. de Marsantes ceased to insist, for she
felt that she would not be able to keep him.
“I shall leave you here,” he said to me, “but you’re not to keep him
long, Mamma, because he’s got to go somewhere else in a minute.”
I was fully aware that my company could not afford any pleasure to Mme.
de Marsantes, but I preferred, by not going with Robert, not to let her
suppose that I was involved in these pleasures which deprived her of
him. I should have liked to find some excuse for her son’s conduct, less
from affection for him than from pity for her. But it was she who spoke
first:
“Poor boy,” she began, “I am sure I must have hurt him dreadfully. You
see, Sir, mothers are such selfish creatures, after all he hasn’t many
pleasures, he comes so little to Paris. Oh, dear, if he hadn’t gone
already I should have liked to stop him, not to keep him of course, but
just to tell him that I’m not vexed with him, that I think he was quite
right. Will you excuse me if I go and look over the staircase?”
I accompanied her there.
“Robert! Robert!” she called. “No; he’s gone; we are too late.”
At that moment I would as gladly have undertaken a mission to make
Robert break with his mistress as, a few hours earlier, to make him go
and live with her altogether. In one case Saint-Loup would have regarded
me as a false friend, in the other his family would have called me his
evil genius. Yet I was the same man, at an interval of a few hours.
We returned to the drawing-room. Seeing that Saint-Loup was not with us,
Mme. de Villeparisis exchanged with M. de Norpois that dubious, derisive
and not too pitying glance with which people point out to one another an
over-jealous wife or an over-loving mother (spectacles which to
outsiders are amusing), as much as to say: “There now, there’s been
trouble.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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