Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
The twittering of the birds at daybreak sounded insipid to Françoise.
Every word uttered by the maids upstairs made her jump; disturbed by all
their running about, she kept asking herself what they could be doing.
In other words, we had moved. Certainly the servants had made no less
noise in the attics of our old home; but she knew them, she had made of
their comings and goings familiar events. Now she faced even silence
with a strained attention. And as our new neighbourhood appeared to be
as quiet as the boulevard on to which we had hitherto looked had been
noisy, the song (distinct at a distance, when it was still quite faint,
like an orchestral _motif_) of a passer-by brought tears to the eyes of
a Françoise in exile. And so if I had been tempted to laugh at her in
her misery at having to leave a house in which she was “so well
respected on all sides” and had packed her trunks with tears, according
to the Use of Combray, declaring superior to all possible houses that
which had been ours, on the other hand I, who found it as hard to
assimilate new as I found it easy to abandon old conditions, I felt
myself drawn towards our old servant when I saw that this installation
of herself in a building where she had not received from the
hall-porter, who did not yet know us, the marks of respect necessary to
her moral wellbeing, had brought her positively to the verge of
dissolution. She alone could understand what I was feeling; certainly
her young footman was not the person to do so; for him, who was as
unlike the Combray type as it was possible to conceive, packing up,
moving, living in another district, were all like taking a holiday in
which the novelty of one’s surroundings gave one the same sense of
refreshment as if one had actually travelled; he thought he was in the
country; and a cold in the head afforded him, as though he had been
sitting in a draughty railway carriage, the delicious sensation of
having seen the world; at each fresh sneeze he rejoiced that he had
found so smart a place, having always longed to be with people who
travelled a lot. And so, without giving him a thought, I went straight
to Françoise, who, in return for my having laughed at her tears over a
removal which had left me cold, now shewed an icy indifference to my
sorrow, but because she shared it. The “sensibility” claimed by neurotic
people is matched by their egotism; they cannot abide the flaunting by
others of the sufferings to which they pay an ever increasing attention
in themselves. Françoise, who would not allow the least of her own
ailments to pass unnoticed, if I were in pain would turn her head from
me so that I should not have the satisfaction of seeing my sufferings
pitied, or so much as observed. It was the same as soon as I tried to
speak to her about our new house. Moreover, having been obliged, a day
or two later, to return to the house we had just left, to retrieve some
clothes which had been overlooked in our removal, while I, as a result
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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